Weekly Challenge #93 – Hygenic Products

Welcome to the Ninety-Third Weekly Challenge, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Duckyfresh Watanabe.
It’s Hygenic Products
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING

Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):

TOM

Initially Jane loved Sammy for his impeccable cleanliness. He looked a lot like David Bowie in the Man who fell to earth. He had nearly every possible hygienic product imaginable. The Michael Jackson high speed nostril clippers, the Arnold Schwarzenegger govonator bikini waxer, Martha Stewart ankle hair remover. Sammy went as far as to have had his sweat glands surgically rerouted. It just might have worked between them if Sammy hadn”t take it just one step to far. Jane hurriedly throw all her clothes into overnight and raced out the door just after she saw Sammy bent over engaged in a tough on Monica Lewinsky extra contoured butt fosse.

DAPHNE

Have you ever watched an 18-Wheeler over turn? I don’t mean seeing the after effects of the helpless trailer on its side and the contents all over the road. I mean seeing it take an off-ramp too fast, tipping over on to two wheels and then come tumbling over with such a crash that the back doors burst open and the contents go everywhere. Well I have, and right now my car is covered in Hygienic Products… so I’m going to be a little late for work.

GUY DAVID

Lony was lazing on the sofa with me, when that salesman came knocking at our door. “Keep yourselves clean ladies, with the latest Crapking Super Hygienic cleansing products”. So much dirty sales talk.
We decided to have fun a little, but Lony got a little rusty since Droma barbecued her, so she turned him into an elf by mistake, while trying to turn him into a pile of dirty socks for our cat, Footnote. Now, imagine an elf, trying to go door to door, selling hygienic products. I just had to do something, so, I turned him into a frog.

KELLY BURT

I was a little concerned when I first left a toothbrush, but he took it well. Then I left some underwear. This was also tolerated. I assumed all was well– I assumed. That was my first mistake. The problem arose when I decided to leave my own personal “hygienic products”. I left my brand of toothpaste and hair products. This pissed him off. He decided that I didn’t like his products, therefore this was a personal attack on him. I’m glad I didn’t leave any tampons. I really would’ve been frighten if he had an opinion on my feminine products.

LAIEANNA

“I am the baddest dog around. No human tells me what to do.”
“Ha, you wish. All cats top you. We’re cunning and never ever do
what we’re told.”
“I’ll prove it! I’ll steal food off the table.”
“I’ll walk on the counters.”
“Oh. Oh! I’ll dig holes in the yard.”
“I’ll eat their goldfish.”
“I’ll chew up their house shoes.”
“I’ll shred the curtains.”
“I’ll bark all night.”
“I’ll pee throughout the house.”
“Well, I’ll drag whatever’s in the bathroom garbage all over the carpet.”
“It’s the wrong time of the month for that! You win, you disgusting animal.”

CALEB

The Following story is true nothing has been changed to protect the innocent.
In 2001 American Hygiene Products, a wholly owned subsidiary of Disposable Soft Goods International, purchased the assets of Drypers Corporation following their announced bankruptcy of October 2000, substantially increasing the sales of the company in North America.
The integration of the acquisition was successfully completed in the first quarter of 2002 and the combined Net Sales for Year End 2002 were in excess of 160 million dollars. Other major North Amrerican acquisitions included Dafoe & Dafoe international in 1987, DrySec in 1993, and Universal Converters in 1997.

PLANET Z

My name is Doctor Johnson N. Johnson, and I invented the cotton swab.
No need to thank me. Just knowing you’re using them in good health is reward enough.
Since then, I’ve invented many hygienic products.
But I have a secret. A dark secret.
Late at night, in my factory, I take off my lab coat and all my other garments and I roll around naked in the cotton bails.
So soft. So luxurious. Such a delight.
Don’t think the worse of me. Come down to my factory, feel for yourself.
It’s not a perversion! It’s Heaven, I tell you!