Weekly Challenge #320 – avoid bursting into flames, pet rock, circus, who let the dogs out, and butter

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.

This is Weekly Challenge Number Three Hundred and Twenty, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

The topic this week was avoid bursting into flames, pet rock, circus, who let the dogs out, and butter.

And we’ve got stories by a lot of people:

Tom
Serendipity Haven
Thomas
Tura
Tom
Chris Munroe
Lizzie Gudkov
Bonchance and Sevi
Guy David
Zackmann
Logan Berry
Cliff
Norval Joe
Danny Dwyer
RedGoddess
Planet Z

And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post…

Obligatory cat photo:

The more people see this on Google Plus, Facebook, and Twitter – the more explaining you’ll have to do with your loved ones, coworkers, and parole officers.

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TOM

Badger and Bolin decided to join the circus. What they lacked in skill
they made up in pyrotechnic-avoidance. Even though Bolin was heisted to
throw the last pet-rock into the flaming-butter he matched Badger’s led
right into the middle of the main-ring. “Well I guess this is it,” sighed
Badger. “No, who let the dogs out, the pit is chewing at my bottom,”
countered Bolin. “Save me,” cry Badger and scrabbled up Bolin’s shoulders.
Pulling the flame-thrower to the right the dog lay incinerated on the
ground. “Maybe 100 flaming-stones is a bad idea, lets do a water act
instead.”

SERENDIPITY

“STOP THEM!” – the fiery, furry cavalcade tore towards us, as people jumped out of the way to avoid bursting into flames themselves, the dogs slipped through the crowd in the Big Top like butter off a hot knife.

Reporters at the aftermath of what was billed as the biggest circus disaster in history asked the handler, “Who let the dogs out, anyway?”

He didn’t answer immediately.

Weeping over the charred remains of a small terrier, he whispered, “they weren’t just performing dogs to me”, looking at the dog’s nametag in his hand; “this one was ‘Rock’… my poor pet, Rock”.

i need a lie down!

THOMAS

Someone at the Mackey Brother’s Circus was always narrowly avoiding bursting into flames. It was the clowns and pet rock trainer most of the time. The fire chief’s first question, was “who let the dogs out?” as they were the first ones to get into the butter the carnies used for the popcorn machines on the midway. The butter kept being knocked over into the big propane burners and spilling on the clowns waiting to climb into the midget cars at #1 ring. Last year, we lost six clowns to the butter fires, and still haven’t found all the dogs.

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Masie avoided bursting into flames as she heat sealed the shipment of pet rocks and teddy bears going to the circus. The Baha Men’s Tune, “Who Let The Dogs Out”, kept playing in her head. She moved from the sealing machine, and popped a few bags of corn, covering the fresh batch with cups of hot butter in order to feed her quintuplets the first meal of the day. Masie was a little damaged, having survived a serious head injury when she was learning to skateboard. Her company was successful, nevertheless, but the quintuplets all succumbed to a vitamin deficiency.

TURA

When learning fire-eating, the most important lesson is: don’t burst into flames. Every fire-eater has their own secret recipe. Mine is paraffin and butter. The flames are showy, but they’re no hotter than boiling water.

The next important thing is: do not work with animals. When the dog act got loose, and I had this can of burning goop, well, I’ll skip the details. The dogs got a bit scalded, but they were right as rain in no time. They still kicked me out of the circus.

So I took my act onto the street. Me and my pet rock.

MUNSI

I let the dogs out.

Didn’t mean to, I’d thought they were safely inside the house, but I guess you let them into the yard to… you know…

If I’d known, I’d have closed the gate behind me. I mean, it’s not like I wanted them to get out.

But by the time I realized, they’d run out into the street, barking and howling and enjoying their newfound freedom.

And now we’re going to have to track them down.

But yeah, I take full responsibility, and I apologize.

My bad.

Also: It was me who put baby in the corner.

LIZZIE

“First, some butter, then your rock. You need the hair of a dog too. Ok, who let the dogs out?! Now you’ll have to chase them, and this will never be done,” the magician said impatiently, stirring the pot.

“But… it’s my pet rock…”

“Stop whining! This will make you the strongest clown in the circus.”

“But I don’t want to be the…”

“Enough! Give it up!”

When he threw a stone in the pot, the magician exploded.

“And finally, you want to avoid bursting into flames,” the kid said holding his pet stone with the dogs by his side.

SEVI AND BONCHANCE

Pablo lay in the shade next to his new pet rock friend.
Hot summer day! Avoid bursting into flames was his goal.

He felt like a pool of melted butter.

He needed time to collect his thoughts after the accident in the kitchen. It rattled him when his master screamed
“who let the dogs out of the basement”?

Poor Pablo was having a really bad run of luck. Life was not fun here anymore.
He was thinking about running away and joining the circus.

He could be their star, after-all his Mistress
said he was the most beautiful of all.

GUY DAVID

The army of clowns slipped and fell. Child laughter could be heard from houses with barricaded windows. Apparently, someone buttered up the road. From near by houses, dogs started barking. Doors opened and the dogs started coming out, seeking out the clowns. Bites and screams followed. “You should have stayed in the circus” shouted someone, “You make a lousy army”. Some people started opening their windows and throwing flaming rocks at them. The clowns started running away in the opposite direction, trying to avoid bursting into flames and running out of town, and so the army of clowns was defeated.

ZACKMANN

“Where are we headed this time, Brock?”
“I have an interview with the Pet Rock Circus.”
“Pet Rock Circus, what is that?” asked Ash
“It had an odd start. An artist built a model of a circus and started to inhabit it with rocks with googly eyes pasted on them except two of these rocks were geodudes. After the Pokebattle that calmed the geodudes down about having googly eyes pasted to their backsides it was decided that Rock-type Pokemon would perform in this circus and the pet rocks would be sold as souvenirs. My interview is Tuesday in Goldenrod City.”

My friend convinced me that it was a good idea to buy a car with a rotary engine. He told me how cool the concept of a rotary engine is, I did see many Mazda over seven years old that were still on the road at the time so I purchase a nice rear wheel drive 626 for my wife. The rotary engines back then used quite a bit of oil. Months later a drive resulting in more flames than Katniss’ dress made me wish I had replaced the hood release cable sooner and add more oil before engine exploded

LOGAN BERRY

Four of them sat immobilized, facing the man with the bow tie. The fires raged. “When does it rain from impromptu?” he asked.

The four squirmed and struggled, sweat pouring like melted butter from foreheads bound tightly to headrests. Contestant number two squeezed the button, his gag was removed and he croaked, “Circus!”

“Wrong!” screamed the bow tie. Contestant two slumped in his chair.

Contestant three squeezed the button urgently. “Your grandmother’s pet rock!” she cried, hoarse from the smoke and heat.

“Correct!” Contestant three wept with joy as she was wheeled from the room.

“Last question,” bow tie said to the remaining three.

“Who,” he asked slowly, “let the dogs out?”

Silence.

Contestant two moaned, and tried, unsuccessfully, to avoid bursting into flames.

CLIFF

It seemed like a good idea at the time. After all, the pet rock had been a craze years before. Why wouldn’t a rock circus be even more popular? Well, the flying trapeze fell flat. The rainbow colored stone clown drew no laughs. The granite lion tamer impressed no one. The people were staying away in droves and I was quickly running out of money. I decided to risk everything on one last act. It had fire. It had pizzazz. Who knew that the pet rock human cannonball routine would turn into a real flying projectile whizzing into the audience?

NORVAL JOE

Flappy searched the neighborhood’s dark bushes with his flashlight. He was so angry that he felt like he needed to take deep breaths to avoid bursting into flames. He knew it was his older brother, Flippy, who let the dogs out then smeared butter on the kitchen floor to make it harder to get them back in. Life in his home was a total circus and he was always blamed for being the clown. Flippy’s only pet was a rock. Flippy was jealous because it couldn’t do any tricks. Flappy always stole the show with his fifteen dancing wiener dogs.

REDGODDESS

Lola plans to leave work on time. She has processed all administrative paperwork and requests from guests. As she’s packing her oversized bag, one guest stops by the desk to ask a burning question. Typical, she thought. Five minutes before her shift ends…grrr. She greets her with a smile and asks, how may I help you? The guest shyly replies, “I’m new here and not adventurous.” Any advice on what not to do? Lola quips, stay close and whatever you do “avoid bursting into flames, pet rock, circus and butter.” You do that, you’ll enjoy our world-class hotel.

PLANET Z

The gang initiation’s simple, really.

Empty a gasoline can over your head, stick a cigarette in your mouth, take out a lighter, and light up.

Either you do it, or they shoot you.

Usually, the can’s filled with water, so nobody gets hurt.

But sometimes, someone doesn’t want you in, and they put gasoline in it.

Water has no smell, but gasoline stinks like… well, gasoline.

So once the can’s dumped, everybody knows what’s coming.

I got the gasoline, and the only one who smiled was Johnny.

So, I lit up, ran to Johnny, and held him as we burned.