Instead of giving us raises, the bosses bring in lunch once a week.
It’s usually pizza. Which I can’t eat because of ulcers.
“Can you order a salad for me?” I ask.
They never do. They just apologize. As usual.
One time, they brought sandwiches.
Pizza sandwiches.
“Hey, it’s free,” they say. “Quit complaining.”
And I did. I quit complaining.
I stacked up the trays of sandwiches and shouted “YOU ARE FREE!” and took them to the park to feed the homeless.
They fired me.
I lost my house. I sleep in the park.
Where’s my free fuckin’ sandwiches now?