Some guys make a few extra bucks donating their blood plasma, and others market their sperm, but I think I’m the only professional saliva donor out there.
Where I have overactive salivary glands, others are the opposite.
And you may think a cup of warm spit isn’t worth a cup of warm spit, to them it’s like liquid gold.
This being my livelihood, I have to charge a fair market value for my efforts.
Most people are shocked when they get the bill, but if they think my spit is expensive, they should see how much my lawyers charge me.