Weekly Challenge #329 – Nothing

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.

This is Weekly Challenge Number Three Hundred and Twenty-Nine, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

The topic this week was Nothing.

And we’ve got stories by a lot of people:

• Thomas
• Caledonia
• Jeffrey
• Tura
• Lizzie
• Serendipidy Haven
• Tom
• Shruti
• Bonchance and Sevi
• Munsi
• Zackmann
• Guard 13007
• Botgirl
• Cliff – Uncle Monster
• Anima Zabaleta
• RedGoddess
• Norval Joe
• Danny Dwyer
• Planet Z

And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post… this obligatory cat photo should help make the Internet go faster:

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THOMAS

Nothing was as sweet as the peach they served with a dollop of real whipped cream. I savored it, taking small bites and holding it in my mouth for a long time, tasting the best peach I’ve ever eaten. When I was finished, I fired up the computer, and started writing some crap for 100 word stories. I was interrupted by a priest, the warden, and two guards. “Tom.. it’s time. We want to accompany you.” Funny, the priest was just as curious to see the warden’s new car as I was, but I had to wash and wax it.

Nothing was evident or easily measurable when they explored the Higgs boson. There were no particles or measurable matter detected. The bosun straddled the line between existence and nothingness, echoing the relationship with my first wife. The force that holds matter together is invisible, and subject to only the forces that come into play by basic observation. Again, similar to the relationship I had with my first wife. I used this valuable information to avoid any further exploration into the institution of matrimony to the point of ignoring the fervent emails from twenty-five year old, buxom virgins from East Africa.

“Nothing doing, mister. Certainly not. No way, Jose, uh-uh, nope, sorry. I’m not going to put that thing to my lips.” She resisted until I convinced her it was the only way she was going to learn how to play the sousaphone. She was tiny, and only just strong enough to heave the big instrument onto her bony shoulder. The sousaphone was the last instrument available for prospective band members, and Nancy had to fill her requisite number of volunteer and school activities in order to even be considered for the private university that her parents dreamed of her attending.

She whispered sweet nothings in my ear, breathing heavily, but faking that as well. One hand on my waist, and the other, reaching around to my hip in order to slip a couple of fingers into my pocket, and extract my wallet. I always carried a fake wallet when I drank in Tijuana. I filled it with Monopoly money and a note, written in English and Spanish that read: “If you try a reach-around with me, you will be disappointed.” Something like: “Si usted intenta un alcance – alrededor conmigo, usted estará decepcionado.” – my Spanish, written and spoken is rusty.

CALEDONIA

“A sultry voice, edged with ferocity brought Oedipus to a grinding halt. No! This was Thebes all over again – not another Sphinx! “Answer my riddle correctly, you enter the Acropolis. Answer incorrectly, you perish.” Oedipus kicked the dust, “Get on with it then” “Right! Insolence, Indignation, Regret: these mark a woman’s progress united by one word.” Oedipus kicked more dust. His mind saw his teenage daughter, eyes rolling and arms folded. It saw his wife, silent and frowning. Finally, his old maiden aunt sighing sadly. “Nothing” he replied to the stone. “Fine!” it replied, and gestured towards the open entrance.”

JEFFREY

A Deal with the Devil
by Jeffrey Fischer

Adam had somehow found himself in a race with Satan. Long story short, he answered Satan’s ad. If he won, he’d receive untold riches. Lose, and Satan got his soul. You know, the usual bet. His friends pointed out that Satan hated to lose, and oh, by the way, this was *Satan*, but Adam had a big ego and, to be fair, had consumed a six-pack at that point.

On the day of the race, spectators lined the course. Satan looked out of shape, and Adam opened a good lead. The finish line was in sight.

“Ha! Nothing can stop me now!”

He heard a loud crack and the skies opened. Literally. In an instant, a chasm appeared before him, swallowing the race course, the finish line, and the spectators. The chasm widened and engulfed everything in Adam’s field of vision. As Adam fell into the void, he felt Satan pluck his soul from his body.

TURA

Ever wonder why there’s something rather than nothing? Better not. Your brain will go funny if you find the answer. So don’t think about nothing! No, you’re probably safe, if you don’t know anything about quantum mechanics or Tegmark multiverses. It’s only when you really grok the mathematics of it that your brain crashes.

Hawking, I reckon he stumbled on a piece of it early, put him in a wheelchair and I don’t know how he goes on, thinking about physics all day and NOT thinking about– about– DON’T THINK ABOUT–

Sorry. They’re coming to give me my pills now.

LIZZIE

The world would end if he didn’t reach his destiny, they said. So he ran. He bore the saving truth as a flag to his chest over hills and mountains, through creeks and rivers. His path was difficult, but he didn’t give up, he ran. When he arrived, the world hadn’t ended yet, so he assumed he was in time to save it. He was wrong. He had brought the wrong truth. He would be the first to die, they said. “Doesn’t the effort count,” he asked. The answer was a slashing sound, his head, a ball on the floor.

SERENDIPITY

An odd thing, this ‘nothing’: You can’t see it, smell, it taste it or feel it, yet you know, without a shadow of doubt when it’s there:

“What do you see?”… “Nothing!”

“What’s in the box?”… “Oh, nothing.”

“And what did you get up to last night?”… “Nothing at all!”

Scientists say that both the infinite universe and the atoms that lie at the heart of everything are mostly… nothing.

It has no form, colour or essential qualities, yet it fills our lives, time and activities; it can be good bad, ugly or completely indifferent.

This ‘nothing’ sure is something!

TOM

Nothin’ from nothin’ leaves nothin’ You gotta have somethin’ If you wanna be with me. Yes he was a soldier in the war on poverty. He was Sgt. Pepper. The only session man to be credited on a Beatle’s album. He plaedy with the Stones, Clapton and Ray Charles. The man was a lyric factory. He told us “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one your with.” Billy Preston had a 10,000 watt smile and the riffs he laid down on this electric organ were worth of P-Funk. Not bad for a kid from Houston.

SHRUTI

She looked at the frayed makeshift curtains and worn out couch. They had tried to make it look pretty but it wasn’t her dream house yet. She loved being in control but today it felt like it was slipping away.

“Honey what’s wrong?”

They had talked about starting a family but now wasn’t the right time. She had hoped the doctor would tell her it was a false alarm, instead she had listened to the doctor tell her the choices they had.

He had enough worries.

“Nothing babe, It’s just been a tiring day.” She said as she held him.

SEVI AND BONCHANCE

“Nothing”

Lesson learned in life:
Nothing comes from nothing. How do you become something?
Naught multiplied by naught gives you nothing.

We are taught to “make something of ourselves”, otherwise we are nothing.
The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

I am nothing without you, proclaimed a lover, but what was the lover before?
If you have integrity, nothing else matters. Oh really?
Ma always said “too much of something is good for nothing”.
How do you know when too much turns into nothing?
Does something give it away?

When will it end?!? We are haunted by nothing!

“Nothing”

Mary heard sounds coming from the kitchen. Johnny! What are you doing in there?

Nothing Ma!

She ran to the kitchen too late. Her cherished serving plate, handed down to her from her Mother,
crashed to the floor shattering into thousands of little pieces.
She didn’t believe Johnny was doing “nothing”, just was never quick enough to intervene before disaster.
They had long talks that day about him getting into things. She could only hope.

During dinner, Johnny sat quietly at the table staring down at his plate.
Johnny, what are you thinking about?

Nothing Ma!

Sadly, she believed him.

MUNSI

Hello, my name’s Heinrich and this is Klaus. We’d like, if we may, to discuss nothing with you, because whatever you might believe in, rest assured, nothing is nearer and dearer to our hearts.

When you’re at your lowest ebb, and everything seems darkest, nothing can help you.

Where you think you’ve lost hope, nothing can save you!

Nothing matters, my friend. Nothing matters.

What? We can’t come in?

You haven’t time? We understand, though nothing is more important than what you’re doing right now.

Still: May we leave you with a copy of the book Nausea, by Jean-Paul Sartre?

ZACKMANN

Nothing to do.
Wish I had an extra battery for my smartphone.
Maybe I could have brought a charger but where would I have plugged it in.
I brought a book but did not get enough sleep before coming to
concentrate that much.
Never guessed my battery would not outlast time I had before being
required to turn phone off.
I was surprised to find lite traffic and find a parking space.
I knew I would have to turn off my phone.
Why didn’t I think to bring my watch.
Time to go upstairs.
The judge is summoning potential jurors.

GUARD 13007

“Everybody ready?” the room’s controller asked. I looked around, everyone was buckled in, silent. A few held those little bags you get in case you throw up, a few had death grips on their harnesses. “Room B is go.” he said into the headset he was wearing, and strapped himself back in.

There were no windows, no speaker, but I could hear the countdown, see the launch. The room started rumbling and shaking. I thought of the fuel sitting beneath us. And suddenly, we were moving, faster and faster.

When we got into space, there was nothing left of home.

BOTGIRL

Myth and religion served God for thousands of years until that smart ass Roger Bacon doomed the world with the experimental process. The bible was right. God created the universe. But with smoke and mirrors. It only worked because people believed. God had to constantly scramble to come up with a plausible explanation every time some nosy scientist peered a little deeper into the universe: Atoms . . . Neutrons. . . Higgs Bosons . . . all were improvisations to avert oblivion. Unfortunately, humans eventually woke up to the nothingness hiding under the cosmic shell game. And there was darkness again on the face of the deep.

UNCLE MONSTER

The realtor told me there were stories of ghosts. I said there was nothing to it. Ghosts. Please. The first night, I heard a noise in the attic. I thought maybe it was a squirrel or a raccoon, so I checked it out. Nothing. The next night, I heard something crash in the living room. When I looked, again there was nothing. Every night, a different room. Kitchen. Nothing. My office. Nothing. Basement. Nothing. I heard something shatter in the bathroom but when I got in there, there was no sign of broken glass. I looked in the mirror. Nothing.

ANIMA ZABALETA

Sweet Nothings

Babe, roll over. You’re snoring again…

Get those frozen feet off me! How is it your toes are colder than Siberia in winter?

You’re hogging all the blankets again!

I need more room here; I’m teetering on the edge of the bed. Re/Max has less real estate than you!

Honey, can you turn the light out? It’s 2 a.m. No, really. I have to work in a few hours.

In the hamper! Hang it up! Were you born in a barn? Not there!

Come closer. Did I tell you how special you are? Did I mention I love you today?

REDGODDESS

“The American people deserve a candidate with experience…” the newsanchor declares. With coffee brewing and toast in one hand, Lola listens to the morning news as she dresses for her 16 hour shift. She mutes the TV unable to digest more than 30 seconds of packaged promises. She watches the news in small doses the same way she would like to eat fatty foods, but who can afford it? These career politicians have finessed the art of promising nothing while expecting voters to give absolute commitment. Lola is part of the new working poor. She has become immune to charismatic political puppets.

NORVAL JOE

Cliff Evans had always been proud of his 1957 Chevy Bel Air. All original, the numbers matched and the radio always played. But not tonight. He scanned through the stations and got nothing, not even from across the border.
The engine rattled to a stop on an empty stretch of Highway 101. He tried the ignition. Nothing. No spark.
His girlfriend in the back seat was silent. Usually a constant chatterbox, but tonight, nothing.
He got out of the car and under a moonless sky, he pulled the corpse from the back seat and rolled it into an empty ditch.

DANNY DWYER

Can you create something from nothing? Can I die, and have my brain ressurected? Once upon a time, by brain, it was something. I mastered the English language, and I could create with it whatever I wanted. Then, I died. My entire body rejected itself. Every cell in my body experienced a catastrophic moment, and collapsed within itself. Once I was something, and in an instant, I became nothing. Then I was resurrected. My brain was scanned into a very powerful Quantum computer. Now, I live my life in cyberspace, something, yet at the same time, I live in nothing.

PLANET Z

I never had any imaginary friends. Instead, I had an imaginary rock.

It just sat there and did nothing.

When other kids would talk to their imaginary friends, I’d pick up my imaginary rock and bash in their imaginary heads, and kill those jerks.

How the other kids got all bloodied up, I have no idea, because my rock was imaginary and you can’t get hurt by an imaginary rock.

Still, I got taken out of that school and sent to a special school.

With bars. And cameras. And lots of pills I have to take.

And no imaginary rocks.