Weekly Challenge #335 – Cube

Welcome to the 100 Word Stories podcast at podcasting.isfullofcrap.com. I’m your host, Laurence Simon.

This is Weekly Challenge Number Three Hundred and Thirty-Five, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.

The topic this week was Cube.

And we’ve got stories by a lot of people:

• Thomas
• Jeffrey
• Steven the Nuclear Man
• Tom
• Munsi
• Kimianne
• Serendipidy Haven
• Jeff Hema
• Zackmann
• Cliff – Uncle Monster
• Tura
• Lizzie
• Monday Jinx
• Bonchance and Sevi
• RedGoddess
• Norval Joe
• Danny
• TJ
• Planet Z

And if you want to spam your social networks with this episode, use the Share buttons at the end of the post… this obligatory cat photo should help make the Internet go faster:

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STEVEN THE NUCLEAR MAN

Ms. Anderson’s voice grated. “Are you enjoying trunk-or-treat, Billy? You make such a cute angel!” She handed him several cubes of low-fat, low-sugar, low-taste caramel.

Billy scowled. “I wanted to be a werewolf.”

Billy’s mother blanched. “Billy, is that any way to be on Beggar’s Night?”

Billy shook off the costume’s wings and walked away. “It’s Halloween,” he muttered, low enough that neither woman heard him.

In the brilliance of the headlights, the congregation planned their defense against the War On Christmas.

Billy looked past the lights, past the suburbs, to the moon beginning to rise.

Billy began to howl.

JEFFREY

The Cube
by Jeffrey Fischer

I concentrated and my world shrank around me. In my mind I could see the universe contract: galaxies collapsed, solar systems merged, planets melded, the Earth shriveled until I was a singularity. No noise, no distractions, no *people*. Bliss.

Heaven was shattered by a bleating sound to my left. The universe expanded again, leaving me in a cacophony of phone conversations, small talk, sports radio, and several different kinds of music. The final straw came when Dwayne popped his head over the cubicle wall. “Hey, man, you wanna get a cup of coffee?” The smell of his everything bagel was still rich on his breath.

I sighed. “Sure. It’s not as though I’m getting anything done here.”

THOMAS

They lived in a white, multi-windowed cube. Designed by third year students of architecture at Technische-Hochschule in Darmstadt, Germany, and manufactured of resined paper, the two story, two-bedroom home was not only roomy and comfortable in all weather, but it was portable. Made in ten sections, the house and utility hook-ups could be loaded onto a flatbed truck and transported easily to a building site. All of the living room’s inside walls were left unpainted, and covered with clear sealant. The German, Dutch and Danish newspapers and soft porn magazine covers provided entertainment for visitors and residents, alike.

##

The sugar cube was supposedly doctored with LSD. Sold to us for ten dollars in a Greenwich Village Coffee house, I and my Coast Guard mates were sold, plain sugar cubes taken from the table next over, by a bearded hippie. During the summer of 67’, we had gone to New York to seek adventures in the Big Apple. After dissolving the cube and waiting for forty-five minutes, we realized we had been duped by the sly fellow, and concluded that our fresh, pink faces and uniforms gave us away, distinguishing us as rubes from the base in Cape May.

##

Margaret Cho is as funny as a cube of compacted horse dookie. She’s loud, popular with the gay crowd, and has found an audience that appreciates her vulgar humor and imitations of her Korean mother. She is more annoying than stepping barefoot in a fresh load of dog poop. There are a lot of more clever, intelligent, creative comediennes than Cho. Funny women are an aphrodisiac, I confess. My old friend, Sharon, a nurse on Amtrack in the 60’s, made me laugh so hard I fell to the floor, held my aching sides, and I recall, I widdled a little.

##

The Cubists were known for their unique approach to painting and design. Alphonso Derigueur, a little known French painter, took his art far beyond the realm of two-dimensional surface painting. Derigueur developed expressive and allusive abstractions dedicated to complex sexual and auto-erotic themes, often constructed of chunks of lean beef and pork, all originating at his Uncle Kenny’s farm. His objects were broken into component planes and geometric solids… cubes, spheres, and cones. The sculpture became a pervasive influence and contributed fundamentally to the early adoption of backyard barbeques, tubes of liverwurst and an array of Oscar Meyer lunch meats.

TOM

The cube was vast and sublime. Smooth despite its age. “It must have had a purpose,” said Frank. “Nope,” returned Rudy. “Just look at it. It’s the biggest damn thing in the whole valley.” “So” “No one just builds a giant old cube in the middle of nothing for no reason.” “Ok, religious artifact.” “You don’t believe that.” “Oh contraire, it divides the universe into six active and passive parts.” “What?” “OH holy Quadrilateral frustum giver of light food and water protect us from darkness hunger and drought.” “It’s a regular hexahedron.” “Whatever.” “Rudy what does Jack-in-the-Box mean?” “Beats me.”

MUNSI

The corners must be ninety degrees. Exactly ninety. Eighty-nine or ninety-one won’t do. It’s important that the angles are correct, lest it isn’t a cube.

The sides, similarly, must be equal length, though what length is up to you. It’s consistency we need here, not specific measurement.

And lastly, it must exist. A cube that exists is by definition more perfect than one that doesn’t.

Also, it should be all-knowing, all-powerful, and the creator of the universe. These things also increase its perfection.

And there you have it. The perfect cube.

Now: To find a use for such a thing…

KIMI

NO TEXT

SERENDIPITY

Somewhere out there, there’s an alternative universe, where spheres simply don’t exist… (take the third wormhole on the right for a few million light years).

In the cubiverse, star-shaped stars shine upon six-sided planets as they describe their awkward, trapezoid orbits through space, (negotiating the corners can be a bit tricky at times!). And there, in the Goldilocks Zone, is an improbable blue planet, inhabited by a race that has never known the circle.

Cars lurch on square wheels, footcube is a favourite sport and Excel never complains about circular arguments.

Please don’t fall off the edge though!

JEFF

I Miss My Mother

Since being married, I feel like my personal space is shrinking.
Whenever I try to check on my friends on Facebook, she keeps breathing down my neck. Sometimes we fight because, according to her, if I reduce the window then I’m doing something suspicious.
I remember once she got on my case when she checked my mailbox and found a spam email about dating. Of course I had nothing to do with that but it was enough to call our relationship into question.
Now we’re deprived of the Internet and I don’t know for how long it’s going to last.

ZACKMANN

“If only I knew that Rubiks Cubes would be popular again, I would have
bought a couple at a dollar store a few years ago.” Said Zack
“I thought they were popular when you were a kid” said Drew
“and how would you know?”
“the same way I know everything about your childhood.”
“your grandmother told you?”
“No, Dad someone made a cartoon about it and I read it on TV Tropes.
What happened the to one you had as a kid and did you solve it?”
“Oh yes son, I solved mine with the aid of a sledge hammer”

CLIFF

I tossed the dice across the table. The tiny white cubes danced and fell to reveal garbage.
Death chuckled and scooped up the dice. “Time to roll the bones.”
That was his favorite joke. It was starting to get on my nerves. Still, he was Death. He could get away with dark humor. He rolled.
“Yatzee!”
We groaned. Death had won again. I started cleaning up the empty bottles.
Death gathered his scythe and started towards the door.
“Scrabble on Thursday?”
You have an appointment…with Death.” He’s a nice guy, but his humor gets a little old after a while.

TURA

Behold the People’s Palace! A perfect cube, the perfect symbol for our perfect country! The great banqueting hall within, a perfect cube, and each of the council rooms!

I was the architect. The old ways are proscribed, but I studied them secretly. Anyone in the old days could tell you that a cube is the worst possible shape for a building. The feng shui remains directionless, stagnant. It festers. Our Benevolent Leaders last about three years living in it, and every minister hates those meeting rooms.

And I know exactly where to set explosives, to bring the whole thing down.

LIZZIE

Cube 1

It’s sad not to fit in. It creates stress and loneliness. It shakes beliefs and disrupts inner balance. He didn’t fit in. He tried to, for a long time. He tried a hat, wearing green, putting on makeup. Everyone mocked him. He tried black and blue, he tried peace for all. Everyone mocked him still. He tried the word; he tried a vow of silence. He tried, despite the sneers, the mockery, and the disdain. So he folded himself in four and slid into the transparent cube in the corner of the room. Now he would fit in. Status: Invisible.

Cube 2
Place a cube on top of another, carefully, oh so carefully. Link everything with strings, and link it well. Turn it around a few times and upside down, just to test it. Does it fall apart? No? Good, it’s done. Now place the giant on the floor. It will take a step, then another. It will walk. And it did. The problem was that the cities of the world were not ready for its massive stepping. And it was even worse when the giant started stomping enthusiastically all over, inspired by a certain group who likes garbage cans and brooms.

MONDAY

Cube hates his job at the psychology lab. His life seems to him to be just one long cycle of others literally attempting to put him into a round hole. For starters there is his job title: “square peg”. That implies a somewhat more rectangular height profile and he is a cube: three inches by three inches by three inches. That title doesn’t pop on the resume of an upwardly mobile cube. Why, he could contribute the stability of his very being to something. He only took this gig for the money. What he really wants to do is direct.

BONCHANCE AND SEVI

Cube

Carol said, “Here is your cube Mr. Dodgson.”

Charlie was very unhappy with the irregularity of the vertex’s and sides. He sat thinking he had hit rock bottom in his career as a mathematician!
After further introspection he pulled out some paper and began writing his first children’s story.

With his first chapter inked his decision was final. He handed Mr. Jaberwicke his resignation. Charles Lutwidge Dodgson aka Lewis Carroll, went on to be quite a prolific author and a pretty good photographer.

Moral to the story: If you put a mathematician in a cube, make sure it shapes up!

Cube

Pablo was slumped over in his chair. Rescuing Pepe was harder than he thought.

He was exhausted. Pablo swirled his paw to make the ice cubes in his gin and tonic tinkle on the side of his crystal tumbler. Yes off the Scotch now!

He stared at the cubes dancing and bobbing transfixing his gaze mesmerizing him. Memories of a clumsy clown returned.
A sudden chill went up his spine raising all his fluffy black and white fur.

He never imagined he would bite a human, even an evil one! The only thing funny about that clown was the taste!

REDGODDESS

This summer has been the hottest since Lola started at the hotel. She got in the habit of drinking an iced mocha topped with whipped cream at her old job when stressed. Now, her budget allows for iced water. Her mind wanders to him. Their last date was a welcoming surprise offsetting her madness. Staring at her iced water, Lola daydreams about their shared champagne. What she would like to do with each ice cube. She becomes lost in her fantasy when his gentle voice interrupts her. “Penny for your thoughts” She turns and sees him,”I’d rather show you.”

NORVAL JOE

Fortunately for the company, except Spleen, the majority of the gore from the exploding goblin giant blasted away. Spleen lay within the proximity of the forward blast, covered in greenish red gore, his right arm extended before him, his hand in a fist.
The company inched forward between the larger gobs of gore and stood around the fallen half-goblin.
“What have ye in yer hand, Spleen?” Flindert asked.
Spleen’s only movement was to slowly open his fist. On his palm sat a translucent silver cube.
Shareeka gasped, “The door of the goblin king. Spleen, you may have saved us all.”

DANNY

Professor Rubik, what’s all the hype about this “Cube” you have created? “It’s a 3D Mechanical Puzzle,” Professor Rubik responded. I felt compelled to point out in my response, in the most uncompromising of terms, “what significance will a 3D Mechanical Puzzle have on American culture, as well as the rest of the world?” Professor Rubik fired back, “My creation is not just mathematical, it’s pure sulpture! My purpose was to solve a structural problem, moving the parts of my cube independently without it falling apart, I didn’t realize I created a puzzle until the first time I scrambled it!

TJ

There’s a pile of boxes in the living room. It’s smaller than it was two weeks ago when we moved them all in, but it’s still there. I haven’t been able to take time off from work to actually get settled in my home so I’ve been opening them as I’ve had time. Some of them belong upstairs, so they get put next to the stairs, and whenever either of us need to go upstairs– which is where they installed the washroom– we take a box with us. It gradualizes organization, but everything does eventually get to where it’s going.

PLANET Z

The new place where I work provides delicious catered lunches, so I’ve changed my eating habits from big breakfasts and dinners to large lunches with lighter breakfasts and dinners.

Dinner is usually a bag of frozen vegetables in a light sauce of some kind or another.

Kroger sells these for a buck.

The peas are round and green.

The green beans are little green cylinders.

And the carrots are perfect tiny orange cubes.

Best of all, they’re handy as ice packs – great for my broken elbow.

So, you think i can write these off as a medical expense?