Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Six, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was selected by Caleb, who is going for broke with…
It’s Cereal.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING
Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
STEVEN
For a while after the attempt, everything was spectacular. It was as
if a sensory grime was vomited with the sleeping pills and charcoal,
and left behind in the ER’s biohazard bag. He drank in the sky’s
shifting shades of blue, the smell of grass and gasoline on suburban
weekends. He even savored the oaty richness of generic cereal
scraping down his throat.
He was discharged, but doctors warned that relapse was often subtle.
“People feel fine but don’t notice the symptoms returning.”
He wouldn’t forget. He promised he would be back to see them — when
cereal was boring again.
DAVID
In last weeks episode, our heroes put an end to the murderous rein of Freetown’s sheriff. By fabricating evidence that convinced the town of his child molesting, drug dealing, terrorist ways, they were able to incite a riot in which he was trampled to death by deputies fleeing the scene. What more can two runaways living in sin do to free our town from the violent thugs we call government?
“Captain Crunch?”
“Ate it! Shredded Wheat, Pullman car,” Josh from above their abandoned caboose.
Join us next week to discover the biting answer to Missy’s immortal question????
“Got milk?”
GUY DAVID
Old Mama Chirapa was looking at little Chaketo. Since they landed, he got much thinner and the lights seems to have gone out of his young eyes. They where supposed to land, colonize this planet, only, it wasn’t as deserted as they thought it was. There where creatures living here, called themselves “Humans” and where suspicious of strangers. The Chirapa had to go into hiding. Now, Mama Chirapa sometimes wondered if they would ever see the light of day.
“Eat your cereal, little Chaketo. You have a whole world to conquer, and you have to be strong enough”, she said.
TOM
The impact from the blow sent Quatermain tumbling over the steamer truck. Eight handguns trained on Cervantes head. Maria grabbed the lid of the Easy Bake. Order returned to the Hub.
“Ok my choice of words was ill composed.” Said Quatermain spiting out blood. “Let me show you our prodigy.” Allan led them to a clean and well-lit place, 40 children sitting about eating Captain Crunch.
“We call them
the League of Extraordinary Children.
Mave they are your students.”
“No.” protested Cervantes
“Sorry R it”s already written in the Book.”
Maria smiled and stated
“Lesson One no sugar coat cereal.”
ANIMA
No word from the cattle station in days; Although it’s remote, there’s usually radio chatter…
So I’m going to have me a look.
Jeez ” will you look at this?
They’ve all gone and copped it. There’s no whole pieces left anywhere. Just a jumble of body parts, hooves and bones. I can’t tell cow from cowboy”
At the feed bunk, I sift my fingers through the remaining grains.
Bloody Cheap Owner, supplying tainted feed. Ergot’s an ugly character.
First ruining the farmers’ crop, then driving the cattle that eats it raving mad.
This cereal killer is truly a serial killer.
TERRY
Police Detective Johnson read this week’s crime report:
On Tuesday, as a Kellogg’s truck pulled up to the dock of a grocery store, it exploded into flames that shot one hundred feet into the air.
On Wednesday, it was a Fruity Pebbles truck that exploded across town at another grocery store.
On Thursday, a Cheerios truck was ambushed and totally destroyed.
On Friday, a not so lucky, Lucky Charms truck was the subject of a bombing.
At the scene of each crime a spoon emblem and “United” had been drawn.
Yup, they defiantly had another cereal killer on the loose.
PLANET X
Little Johnny always loved his Alpha-Bits, he sometimes would pick out letters from the cereal bowl and spell out words on the table, shocking his mother.
Today was different, the cereal started to form words by themselves, even before he picked them from the bowl.
At first they were simple words like “today”, “you” and “will”, but when “die” formed in the milk, Johnny started to get scared, scared enough not to notice the droplet of blood that came from the knife his mother had just shoved into his ear.
“Can you spell-out fuck you now Johnny” his mother said.
CRAIG
The incessant knocking at the bedroom door abruptly collapsed my dreaming.
Rubbing my eyes I looked up to see four girl scouts at the foot of my bed.
Before I could speak the tall one said ” it”s boxtop day, you promised to help.”
Pulling the covers over my head I mumbled “boxtop day indeed,” adding “give me 2 minutes.”
Downstairs there were at least twenty girl scouts all staring at me. An amused Ellen handed me coffee pointing to the door, I mouthed “what no cereal?”
I motioned the drivers to head out, the great boxtop collection was on.
SOUGENT
He gazed down at the spreading pool of blood.
“A good breakfast is what you need”, he said, “not that powerbar”
She was asking for it, really, just like all the rest were.
The voices kept whispering in his head, telling him what to do.
He knows he should be sorry for killing them all, but the voices just keep whispering….
“Just follow my nose, it always knows”
“I’m koo koo for cocoa puffs”
Slipping a small box of Frosted Flakes under her hand, he mutters “They’re Great!”
“In other news today, the famed “cereal killer” claims a new victim”
THOMAS
Damn food nazis, been out of work for three years with no end in sight. The libs say we can’t sell to kids, but what about us, I mean, who’s going to buy a vacuum from an elf or a tiger? Sure, the Cap’n got a book deal and a cameo in the next Pirates of the Caribbean flick, but for most we’re just trying to survive. Bitter? Damn straight I’m bitter. Snap and Pop opened a gym, then said “threes a crowd, goodbye”. Bitches! Me? Well… maybe I could ask that annoying leprechaun to tend bar at his pub.
JD WHITE
John 316, fist bruised and aching, stood before the locked hatch.
The hot cereal of breakfast an hour before sat, a hard cold lump in his gut.
Tears that had formed now begin to seep from his eyes.
It had been a trick.
More than a trick, a trap.
His frailty and his fear of rejection used against him.
His brothers would, if they had not already, report his transgression.
They would be rid of him one way or another.
John 316 saw clearly that he had failed the Word.
Turning, his hands trembling, he grasp the ladders first rung.
TERRENCE
As the zombies continued to shuffle by Raoul and the witherhunch, Raoul thought about the event of the past few months. In its first draft the “good” book had described all the warning signs. However, it continued to amaze him on how badly the book had been edited over the years. He had not been the only victim of some priest’s edits. Maybe, if they had been a little less selective they would have recognized the sign when the podcaster spread out into other things; but who would have thought that cereal.isfullofcrap.com would bring about the end of the world.
LAIEANNA
I’m a half ass low carberer. Eggs, meat, cheese, and vegetables are the staple of an Atkins diet and even that requires limits. Eggs now make me nauseous. Meat easily grosses me out. Cheese I like but there is only so much you can eat in a sitting. Oh, and vegetables get really boring to chew on. So, on this diet, I crave things that I didn’t care about when I was fatter. Fruit is a treat and chips are salty goodness. And for a poptart, strudels kid, cereal sounds like heaven. Pour me a bowl of Raisin Nut Brand…please.
HOTSPUR
I grin as another spoon of Museli enters Aunt Doris’ gaping maw.
There you are.
“I love you, Woodrow” she bleets, mouth brimming with EuroCereal.
I grin at her. Carefully, now. Chew with mouth closed, Auntie. We don”t want an accident.
She chews, blank eyes unfocused. Dribble of milk down one side of mouth. Hodgson enters with juice and a red rose on a tray. He is brisk, obsequious. He serves Auntie, slowly raises and glances at me with a look of mingled loathing and hatred. I grin back, pleasantly.
There you are, Auntie. Another Bite?
“I love you, Woodrow”.
MIKE
The man always marveled at the variety of cereals. Puffs, pops, flakes, little donuts and – his personal favorite – sugary ABCs. His mom always said, he had learned to spell just by pushing the little letters around in his bowl for hours on end.
The emergency horns’ blaring finally stopped, but the strobes still flashed. Taking another look at the legs sticking out of the hopper, he popped a glazed uppercase “Q” into his mouth. Sure, it could be dangerous working here, just like working in any other kind of factory, he supposed. He couldn”t imagine working anyplace as tasty, though.
CALEB
In the mid seventies General Mills tried replacing Lucky the Leprechaun with Waldo the Wizard. Lucky had been making unreasonable demands in his contract negotiations. How they expected a cereal company to enslave Donna Summer in the first place, was never explained. He got into Frankenberry and before long he and Toucan Sam got banned from all the Hollywood clubs. Tony the Tiger said, “You”re Wasted! You Better get to Rehab!” After rooming with Sonny who was coo coo for crystal meth too he eventually came out clean and sober only to be replaced again, this time by a cartoon.
PLANET Z
I’m sure there’s people out there who envy the fact that I get breakfast in bed every morning.
Best thing to wake up to, right?
Not around here.
You see, instead of bringing me coffee and bacon and waffles and pancakes and maple syrup, she throws a box of cereal in my face and yells at me to wake the fuck up.
God, I wish it was like the old days.
Sure, there wasn’t any coffee. Or bacon. Or waffles. Or pancakes.
But, man, was there maple syrup. And where it was, I’ll leave that to your imagination.
Bon appetit.
good job by all! – but i do think this show has gone from brief to boxer….
I do my best to cut down my rambles, but I figure folks can listen to it in multiple takes.