Calling Myself

I know it sounds weird, but I put myself on speed dial.
That way, when I don’t know what to do, I can always call myself.
Sometimes, I’m the one calling myself. And other times, my phone rings and it’s me.
Usually, it’s nothing important, like directions somewhere.
But the other day, I swear, I heard crying in the background.
“I can’t find the chainsaw,” said my voice over the phone.
“It’s in the shed,” I said. “What do I need it for?”
“Thank you,” I said, and I hung up.
I took myself off of speed-dial and blocked myself.