The Wacky Adventures Of Abraham Lincoln 35

“Fight! Fight!”
President Lincoln put down his beer, walked in between the brawlers, and shoved them apart.
“Enough, Gentlemen!” he roared. “Who be you, and what is your dispute?”
“I am Johnny Mercyseed,” said an overall-clad farmer. “I go around the country and plant mercy for all to take comfort in.”
“My name’s Johnny Strictjustice,” said the other, who wore leather and bore a nasty-looking whip. “I punish people for their crimes.”
“You’re a pervert,” said Mercyseed. “Animal!”
“Wimp!” shouted Strictjustice. “Pussy!”
Two years later, they both died at Gettysburg. Abe planted an apple tree.
“Good idea,” said Johnny Appleseed.