Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Thirty-Ninewhere I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was Oh, the horror!.
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING
Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
Caleb
Mrs. Claus had had just about enough of Santa’s priceless collection of Victorian erotica. She didn’t mind him spicing things up a bit now and then; after over 200 years of marriage who wouldn’t? His not having time for her from October through most of January left her ready to submit to almost any perversion. Sure, she could dabble with the occasional elf or two but it wasn’t the same as having that big belly slapping her ass like a bowl full of jelly. So when she caught him ‘reading’ the story of O she shredded it. “O? The horror!”
Norval Joe
Lori checked her lipstick in the mirror of the hotel bathroom. Her 25th reunion was going to be a hit.
She wasn’t obese in high school, but she was chubby enough to make her color guard uniform stretch past the point of flattering. Oh, the horrors she faced in high school.
A Phd in partical physics, a strict diet and lots of exercise had transformed her into a svelt, but extremely intelligent, seductress.
She walked into the banquet room to the astonished smiles of her former classmates. Her form-fitting silk dress was tucked neatly into the back of her panyhose.
Mike P.
I met Mr. Roosevelt in Cuba. He took me to New York and the White House as friend and advisor, and then to Africa as a hunting companion.
It was in Mombasa that we heard the natives speaking of “zombeys.” A shaman told us of an undiscovered island, far to the east, that was home to these creatures. Maps were sketched out, and we sighted the place within five days.
Three days later, we returned from a fruitless excursion to find a lifeless crowd shambling about the camp.
“Oh,” I said.
Mr. Roosevelt nodded, loading a shotgun. “There’s the horror.”
Justin
It all started when Elmo wound up in the hospital.
“I was in an alley on my way to talk to Oscar in his new can when I was attacked by something round!”
Next, the Cookie Monster was mugged outside his home.
“It stole my cookies!”
The crime rate was on the rise.
“Three mugging, ah ah ah. Four muggings, ah ah ah.”
Police detectives soon found that these crimes happened on days brought by the letter O. Kermit had this comment:
“The horror of it all was that “O” had always been so polite. We never would have suspected.”
Jeff
“Ice Fishing? You brought me ice fishing?”
“Yes, well you said you wanted to get away from it all.”
“Yeah, but I meant I wanted a vacation.”
“But dear, this is a vacation. We’re out in the wilderness, enjoying all that mother nature had to offer.”
“If this is all she has to offer, I want my money back.”
“Dear, that is the wonder of this vacation it was nearly free, and in a bad economy, it is perfect.”
“Great I am stuck out here, with Charles Swab. Why can’t you do anything right for a change?”
“Oh the horror.”
Cenedra
I watched in horror as he handled the flesh of a dead animal as though it was an everyday occurrence. My eyes fixated on the bright red fluid dripping onto the table.
My mind wanted to scream, but there were no words. My eyes followed yet another red drop as it fell, almost in slow motion, and splattered below him. Plop.
The disgust must have shown on my face because he paused and scowled at me “What’s the matter with you?”
“I can’t believe you put ketchup on your hot dog.” I said and licked mustard off my bottom lip.
Anima
What is wrong with people?
Can’t they take a hint? There are No Trespassing signs… A girl scout hung in effigy….
Satyr lawn ornaments dancing around a pentagram torched in the grass…
What’s it take to be left in peace?
Oh the horror, they are traipsing up my drive, thru the allée made of impaled real estate agents and vacuum cleaner salesmen. They’ve passed my menacing hellhound…
Who are they? A pox on these doorknockers I say!
Yes…?
Ma’mm, we’ve come to nominate your gingerbread house to the historical society…
Oh… Well then, my dearies, won’t you please come in?
Brad Z
Slowly, mother nature is spreading terror across the nation. State by state, the weather reporters track it’s progress. Unable to stop it they speak of the horrors of the ice fog that is coming. City by city it spreads closer. The local weather reporters warn of the dangers to follow in the morning before I click the TV off and fall asleep. In the morning, the closings scroll across the bottom of the screen. Wiping sleep from my eyes I look to see if today will be a snow day. Oh, the horror, everyone gets to stay home but me!
Ashley
Charles’ life was great. He had a dream job, a marriage of twelve years to a content wife and four amazing children.
There was even time for other women.
Charles whistled as he added more lewdness to an already quite lewd email and hit send. An automated reply quickly popped up.
He abruptly noticed the name of the reply and froze. It was his wife’s work account. Somehow, he’d sent the email to the wrong address.
As Charles sat in shock at his computer, a favorite phrase of his mother’s came to him, “Son, if you play you pay.”
Tom
“Spiritus Mundi” screamed Klatu.
Gort shrugs his shoulders.
“It is the gyre of this stony sleep we must dispel” railed Klatu.
“The falcon can not hear the falconer.”
Lacking all conviction Gort move its slow thighs.
“Wait surely some revelation is at hand!”
“The worst are full of passionate intensity.”
About Klatu the tiny metal bugs chewed.
“Things fall apart” stated the robot
a gaze blank and pitiless as the sun.
“Klatu, the center cannot hold.”
He grabbed Gort whispering
“Gort Klaatu barada nikto”
The beast knew
its hour come round at last,
Slouched towards Bethlehem
to settle a score
Guy David
It was laundry day. Harry memorized the instructions ahead of time. He just knew he would be able to operate the washing machine with ease this time. Margaret watched him like a vulture. He shivered. One mistake and he is toast. He put the clothes in the machine, turned the knobs, pushed the button and watched as they started spinning. There was nothing to do but wait now.
Later, when the cycle was finished, he took out the clothes under Margaret’s watching eyes, intending to hang them on the laundry line but… Oh, the horror! – they all turned out green.
Planet Z
O, the horror.
The studio is unhappy with my latest picture, so they want me to appear in a fundraiser for childrens’ diseases.
I asked which disease was it for – I’m a great fan of any disease or form of death, really.
Can we raise money to give away guillotines for tots? Or how about high-powered explosive candies?
Guns. Kids love guns. And they’re very dangerous when put in the hands of a child.
The studio was mortified. They’re sending some singer in my place – Michael Jackson or something.
They’ll have a great time with him, I’m sure.
Great stories everyone!!