Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Forty where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s a combination of: Lambada, Dragon Burgers, Coal, Bail, and Wrapping Paper
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING
Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
Caleb
They say you have to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away and know when to run. And so far that has been good advice, for me anyway. But as yet nobody’s ever told me when to scream dragon burgers while dancing the lambada and wrapping a bail of coal in paper, setting it ablaze and pouring a pint of papaya liqueur down my trousers.
I can tell you this. You really shouldn’t do it in the library, or church and especially not in any International Airport. Tomorrow, I’m trying Dow Chemicals.
Uva
Triumphant ! mutant mouse cut the dragon’s stomach open with his laser wand as if it were wrapping paper and extracted the dragon burger – double peopled crispy as bacon stomach to stomach as if dancing the lambada with a bail of coal speckled charred cabbage as a bun.
Mouse recognized the crazy lab-techs who had made him what he is, the ultimate soldier, bred to be in a disposable army, to fight wars in place of men of the future, sent back with the dragons they had made in the future to fight them, to the past avenge their makers.
Norval Joe
The others thought the half-orc was stupid and eyed him surreptitiously where he sat turning dragon burgers on the coals of the campfire.
“Lambada, you stupid oaf, is the food ready yet?” One of the group sneered. The outlaws had enlisted the half-orc to help rescue their leader from the king’s prison. The leaders bail had been set higher than the outlaws could afford.
Lambada would be unrecognizable to the wolf-guards trained to scent on humans.
The outlaws thought Lambada was stupid, and deaf as well.
The king pays better.
They would get their leaders head back, in wrapping paper.
Justin
I’m at the Dragon Inn eating a burger. A bard strums up a lively lambada. Several of the drunker patrons sweep up barmaids into dances. In a small brown paper wrapped box is a diamond ring. I hand it to Iliza as she passes by with a few empty tankards. She opens it and gasps, then slaps my face. I pick the ring up. The wizard who’d sold it said the diamond was magical and would turn into a less stable form if my love had been unfaithful to me. Pocketing the coal ring, I decide it’s time to bail.
Anima
No bail, Jingle. 11 months hard labor at the Kringle Coal Mines.
With all that is going on in the world, I’m gonna need more stockpiles for next year.
From now on, when I say jump, you ask “how high”.
When I say dance, you’re gonna lambada like Carmen Miranda.
And when I ask for a dragon burger, you better not bring me reindeer sausage.
You should have thought twice about sponsoring Christo on his wrapping paper installation at the North Pole. I find his art so bulgar.
You’re about to learn: No one messes with the Jolly Fat Man.
Brad Z
Dragon’s guarding the treasure right…what does Fred throw at it….A piece of coal! My Gods did that thing get mad.
“Nother Dragon Burger?”
Aye….hey Lambada told ya not to put those on.
Magic dancing shoes aye. Had a cousin put on magic boxing gloves once. We used a roll of bail ta tie him up with until the wizard got them off him.
What happened to the gloves?
Some diplomats had gathered for a peace treaty in this village so we wrapped the gloves in paper and gave them as a gift. Nice war resulted from that.
Cen
I stood on the porch as the uniformed man gave me the news.
We were being evacuated; it was the only hope for survival.
On my left, Mr. and Mrs. Jones were doing the lambada in the yard, apparently deciding to stay behind.
On my right, old man Smith, sipping a milkshake and holding a Dragon Burger still in the wrapping paper.
I stepped slowly onto the almost empty bus, apparently very few felt the need to bail.
The sky turned orange as we drove away and I realized a lump of coal would never mean the same thing again.
Ashley
Ring
“Hello.
Oh God, what a night.
I went to the party dressed as a present, covered with wrapping paper.
My date went as a chunk of coal. What was I thinking?
I did the lambada at the party. Thank God I didn’t go commando.
My date got into a fight with Mickey Mouse and I was too just damn drunk to bail her out. I didn’t really like her anyway.
Then, I had a dragon burger at home and it gave me the shits.
God, what a night. I’ll never do that again.
Alright, talk to you later.”
Click
Tom
Maurice had been trafficking Whitby Jet cross The Wired for 40 cycles. The Red Judge allowed him to place property in lieu of incarceration in keeping with the 12th century Statute of Westminster. This was timely Maurice was competing in the Strong Hit Brazilian dance finales. The Victorla keep skipping back to track one on The Best of Cream, but this just caused Red to laugh and fall all over Maurice flapper beads flying in the wind. After hours of toughing bellies Red said. “Let’s get some charbroiled Smaug,” “Don’t forget the pickles.” Oh the horror life in a Tiny Mud.
Guy David
Little Timmy opened the wrapping paper to find out Santa has left him with a lump of coal. This made him so happy he just had to dance the Lambada. “I could use this to start a little barbecue at the schoolyard” he said happily, “I could even bring my favorite beef, Dragon Burgers.” His parents had to bail him out again, though they should have been used to it by now. Only last year, he scorched Santa’s beard after he gave him a barbie doll by mistake and the year before that he put fire crackers up the chimney.
Planet Z
We put word out on the wire that all ten terrorists were dead.
Nine bodies stacked in the the morgue.
“Want to join them?” I told the detainee.
He spat in my face, so I took out a cordless drill.
The torture worked. We were getting the detainee to talk.
One problem – our translators were worthless.
Lambada dancing in Fallujah.
Delivery of Dragon Burgers, distribute to agents
Whisper of Coal, pile up the hay bail and hoe-down
Check the Wrapping Paper for the signal key
Obviously they’re using nonsense code words.
Pass me a fresh drill bit.