Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number One Hundred And Sixty-Four, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was… was…. um…
It’s Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….
The excellent theme music is by Guy David
VOTING
Go ahead and listen to them and then vote for your favorites (multiple selections are allowed):
Justin
What’s the 100 word story topic for this week?
Hmmmmm?
The topic, what is it.
Hmmmmmm.
Are you even listening to me?
HmHmmmmm.
Is there something wrong with your mouth?
Hmmmm.
Are you just not talking to me?
HmmHmmmm.
Are you writing the story later?
HmmHmmmm.
What’s the topic?
Hmmmmmm!
Justin, stop that and say something!
Ah, finally unjinxed.
Oh, I forgot about that.
I was playing a game of Gemcraft the whole time, sine just before you jinkxed me from the other room.
What did we say?
We both suggested pizza.
Oh, right. So, what’s the topic?
Hmmmmmm.
Augh!
Norval Joe
”Hmmmmmmmmmmm.” The judge said and scowled at the plaintiffs.
“My first thought is to charge the two of you with contempt for wasting my time.
“Then you should have to attend counseling for problem solving. For pity’s sake, you’re adults, and brothers for that matter.
“I refuse to talk with that thief,” the first brother said.
“No way. That embezzler has divided our family for years,” the other countered.
The judge finally decided. “If you can’t equitably divide your father’s inheritance, I’ll pay it to a surgeon who can divide the two of you.”
The Siamese twins decided to cooperate.
Guy David
The young librarian lifted her head in surprise as the letter “H” passed by her desk, followed by eleven “m”s. As she took a peek over the book she was reading, she saw many letters and words strolling around the library. “That can’t be right” she thought. She put down her book and started picking books of the shelves, looking for the one the words poured out of. She opened a big book about mechanics. A bus came out of it and accumulated the library, making the librarian his passenger. “Welcome to my bus” said Elvis, the bus driver.
Tom
“Jack check this out.
If you go hmmmmmmmm
and look a digital clock
the numbers vibrated like those
magnetic filament bulb form the 70’s.”
“Hmmmm…. It didn’t work.”
“Wait, try this keep your teeth
touching like a north Texas cowpoke.”
“No good.”
“Ok, keep your feet shoulder length apart,
arms at your side and head tilled downward.
“Hmmmmm. I think its working I seee ……..”
“This is Juliet Savage with KCAN TV reporting from the site of a oscillation experiment gone wrong. Block of buildings have been reduced to rubble by going Hmmmmmmmm….”
“Mr. President we just lost Portland.”
“Hmmmmmmmm….”
Anima
“Nice garden, Julie; What are you growing this year?”
“I thought I would try a new variety of boyfriend vine. This one is a strong grower, with solid seed production. Clingier than others, so I’ll have to provide good support.
I’ve decided to go with an annual this year; I’ve tried perennials, and I am tired of being disappointed. Perennials grow good for a few years, and then bam! – they wither, quit producing flowers, and basically take up space. I have high hopes for this one.”
“Uh oh – he’s already trying to speak.”
HMMmmmmmmMMMmm
“He looked better in the catalogue…”
Laurie
I know these two guys that are professional wrestlers. They live in the city and are inseparable. They live in a modest house so no one suspects their vast wisdom and incredible wealth. They own a human. They call him their camera man so he wont get his feelings hurt but really he is nothing more than a slave. He is their butler, chauffer, He even cooks their every meal. They also make this slave work full time and after a long day in a small crappy office he comes home and has to follow them around narrating their videos with a cartoon like speech impediment. “Who’s the Crazy Kitty? Hmmmm? Who’s the crazy Kitty?“ and then posts it on their blog. Sometimes they make him sleep on the couch. They never give their slave enough attention and love, just enough to keep him under their spell.
Jeffrey
“What is he doing over there?”
“I don’t know, but he said if he got one more stupid phone call he was going to go postal.”
“I though Neil as anti-gun?”
“He is.”
“So what is he going to go postal with.”
“I don’t know but whatever it is it appears to be pretty long.”
“It sure is taking him a long time to pull it out. Do you suspect that he is going to hurt anyone with it?”
“I’m still trying to figure out what it is.”
“Hmmm He brought a halberd. How do you conceal on of those?
Lynda
“Doc, you gotta help me! I’ve got this rash, and it’s just like one my mother has on her… well, never mind. The other night I found a strange thong under my husband’s pillow and I threatened to throw the toaster into the hot tub with him if he didn’t tell me the truth.
“I said, ‘I know you only married me because I was a younger version of my mother, did you give me her rash?!’
“He says, ‘No, I got it from your father’s girlfriend.’ What am I gonna do?”
“Hmmmmmmmmmmm.… First things first. Have you been flossing?”
Danny
“Hmmmmm,” I said.
“What?” she said.
“Hmmmmmmmm,” I was louder this time. She ignored my plea and went to the metal work bench behind my naked, restrained, body.
My feet and hands were shackled by chains attached to metal rings in the floor, ensuring my absolute immobilization.
First, the sound of a drill was heard. Then, the sound of a chain saw in proper working order. None of this made me cringe as much as the bench grinder did.
She ripped the tape off of my mouth.
“Guess you can’t say the safe word with tape on.”
“Proceed,” I said.
Platinum
“Something’s at the door, Mike.”
“Don’t let it in. It’s just a zombie.”
“Zombies don’t knock like that.”
“It goes ‘hmmmmm’ like a zombie does.”
“It goes ‘hmmmmm’, but not like a zombie. Zombie hmmmmms sound different. I think It’s a gorilla. See, that’s a zombie. And the gorilla just killed it.”
“We can’t take chances.”
“Why not? We’re running out of ammo, and we’ll die soon if we don’t get help. We need a gorilla on our side.”
“Fine, let it in.”
“OH GOD! IT’S A GORILLA VIKING! WATCH OUT!”
Mike P.
I sat in a booth near the back of the bar. The new ex-girlfriends went
straight to the bar after saying their piece – Tom promised to give me
some of the tips. The line of future ex-girlfriends stretched out the
door and, I imagined, a quarter-mile down the block.
“You’re just not tall enough.”
“You’re too tall.”
“I’d rather date an astronaut.”
“You’re a terrible sky pirate.”
“When I’m with you, you make me hate my cat.”
I didn’t realize keeping multiple girlfriends secret from each other
could backfire. Maybe I should learn something from this.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Planet Z
Foster couldn’t take it anymore.
He spent yesterday just humming.
This morning, he drank poison.
For fifty years, Foster said he’d kill himself.
We all say it, but this asteroid is Paradise and we can live here forever.
The machines keep us alive and young.
There are always things to do. We have done lifetimes of research, writing, sculpting, and pleasure.
If we need a challenge, the machines break themselves and we fix them.
Were people meant to do this? Live forever?
We are nine now.
I find myself humming.
And I stop.
I like this eternal comfort.
Don’t you?
And a vote for Laurie too!
Another fucking fuckup in polls. Ugh.
I need a new poll system that lets me make quick fixes.