Skydiving

The instructor said that I should read the manual very carefully.
So, I did.
But I read it backwards.
Instead of getting in the airplane and jumping out of it, I was standing in the middle of a field. The parachute was draped over me, and I was tangled up in its lines.
When the plane passed overhead, I shouted “I’ll be right up!” and I jumped as high as I could.
No, I didn’t fly up to the plane. Instead, I twisted my ankle on a rock and got tangled up in the parachute lines even worse.
Stupid manual.