You know how statistics show that a gun kept in the home is 43 times more likely to be used on a member of the household than to be used in self-defense?
My cousin Fred lost his job a year ago. Since then, instead of searching for a job, he’s been on my couch, watching TV and stinking up the place.
Doesn’t help with the chores, either.
I can’t argue with statistics, so I shot him. 43 times.
Of course, I said it was in self-defense.
(Because you can’t clean a gun and have it go off 43 times accidentally.)