My roommate Steve isn’t from around here.
Oh, and his name isn’t Steve.
In the local dialect, Steve’s name translates to “Can I have a motherfucking epidural now?”
You see, his mother tried to give birth to him naturally, but things went horribly wrong, and instead of a brief period of contractions and labor, she was wracked with agony for three days.
We call him Steve because that other name is just too hard to say, with all the clicks and pops and growls. Plus, it scares the cat.
Problem is, my name is Steve, too.
Okay, call me Steven.