I saw a snake in our yard. It was long and black.
I took a picture of it and sent it to Facebook.
“That’s a water moccasin,” a friend said. “It’s poisonous.”
We called 911, who told us to call 311. They sent us to Animal Control, but they said they don’t do snakes. “Call a snake wrangler.”
They didn’t have the number handy. And Siri kept offering to download “Snakes On A Plane” for 99 cents.
We eventually got it trapped in a heavy burlap sack.
Finally, we looked up Animal Control’s address and slipped it into their mailbox.