Smashes

Every time I buy bread from the store, it gets smashed.
Even when I pack it myself.
Even when it’s the only thing I buy.
Even when I put it in my patented No Smash Bread Safe.
It ends up smashed.
So, I baked my own bread.
I used a bread baking machine, fresh ingredients, and 24/7 closed-circuit security camera coverage.
And it doesn’t end up smashed.
It smells so wonderful… so incredible… so fresh!
I pull it out of the baking pan, let it cool, and slice it with a razor-sharp bread knife.
And then I smash it.

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