“Salmoning” is where a bicyclist goes against the flow of traffic in a bike lane on a one-way street.
It is not where the cyclist leaps out of the bike lane into the road to pass another cyclist. That’s called “Getting hit by a cabbing.”
Nor is it when they pull over to a fountain, lay their eggs, and then suddenly die. There’s no word for that.
Finally, Salmoning is not where you offer salmon to passing bicyclists. That’s just creepy.
Plus, they always ask for cream cheese and a bagel.
Do I look like a deli, honey? Keep pedalling!

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