There’s a party in my pants.
But you aren’t invited.
None of you are.
It’s too cool of a party for the likes of you.
In fact, it’s such a cool party, I wasn’t even invited.
The party’s been going on for days.
The noise keeps me up at night.
I want to call the cops and report this as a public disturbance, but my phone is in my pocket. Which is in my pants.
“Can I at least come in to get my phone?” I ask.
The bouncer shakes his head no.
This is why men should wear kilts.
———-
That’s it for 2016. See you in 2017.