The Big Sleep

Ted needed a new mattress, so he tried one with coils and springs.
The recoil threw him into the ceiling.
Then, he tried a sleep number bed. But the bed wasn’t so good at math, and he ended up spending all night working out long division with an abacus.
After that, he bought a memory foam mattress.
But this one was defective. At first, he thought it had some kind of amnesia, but it turned out to be early-onset Alzheimers. He forgot his dreams.
In the end, he decided to cross the mob, and he peacefully slept with the fishes.

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