Rudolph the red-nosed deadbeat

After Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer got the job of leading Santa’s sleigh, he got invited to all of the reindeer games.
Especially with the does.
Pretty soon, there were red-nosed fawns all over the North Pole.
And all of their mothers sued Rudolph for child support.
Rudolph spent a lot of time running. And drinking. His navigation skills went completely to shit.
Santa got fed up with the B-list animal celebrity crap, and he mounted some running lights, a GPS tracker, and flight radar on the sleigh.
Rudolph shot himself, and he ended up in a batch of venison jerky.