The vampire who lives next door is kind of an asshole.
So, I fucked with him all the time.
I gorilla glued his coffin shut.
I surrounded his room with mirrors.
I filled his air vents with garlic.
And hung crucifixes all over his place.
Then I ordered ten pizzas.
Oh, and let my dog crap all over his grass.
I let the air out of his tires.
And knocked over his mailbox.
It was while I was burning his house down when I realized something important.
That I was the asshole?
No. That I needed to stake his heart.