Welcome to the Weekly Challenge Number Two Hundred and Forty-Four, where I post a topic and then challenge you to come up with a 100 word story based on that topic.
The topic this week was Make a run for it!!
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Dave
James and Dennis were putting the finishing touches on their system of fire crackers and cherry bombs packed into the dirt beneath the arrangement of plastic army men. James’ older brother decided to have some fun of his own and lit the fuse while the boys weren’t looking. Suddenly noticing the lit fuse, they bolted out of the yard and behind the fence. Silence. “Out you go Brownie,” their mom said as she let the dog out. Of course his nose sent him directly to the fire crackers. “Here Brownie!” they called, but it was no use.
Zackmann
Since the newspaper headline is “Last Print Edition Ever Due to Bankruptcy” are there any
stories you want to run but didn’t for fear of losing your job or add revenue.
Well there was this letter from someone Who call himself “The Punnisher” postmarked
Englewood Colorado. It had more puns than a Xanth novel. He had asked a couple times if
the newspaper would run a feature he called “The Punishment”. After he we said no, he sent a
really bad “The Punnishment” as a joke featuring a pun about electing a BlackBerry.
Steven the Nuclear Man
”You think he’s watching?” I put my hand on Mrs. Claus’ arm as she
shakes her head.
Her lips run over the elfin point of my ear. “Of course not. He
watches the human children. You are neither human” – her hand runs
down my body – ” nor a child.”
I fumble with the buttons on her blouse; she slides me out of the
green jumper. We explore each other’s bodies as twenty four hours
pass like one.
Which means he pulls up while we’re still naked.
I try to run, but damn if my socks don’t keep filling up with coal.
TJ
The tacky holiday sweater contest is a bad idea, especially when
you’re as competitive as we are. We all took a run at it, and the
office became an explosion of glitter, tinsel, garland, blinking lights
and jingle bells. They got us together for the judging and it’s like
Christmas threw up on us. I dressed as Rudolph with jingle bell antlers
and a blinking red nose, but we all lost to Karl, who wore a damn
Christmas tree. Later, he confessed he’d just hit the nog too hard,
tripped over the tree in the lobby and couldn’t get free.
Guy David
– …So, I just stood there staring as this guy started shouting right before lunch break, “They are going to turn us into mindless zombies and promote us” or something like that. That guy really lost it.
– Please don’t do that voice
– Sorry… Anyway, how was your day?
– Arms everywhere
– No kidding. Did you make a run for it?
– I wasn’t trained for this
– No one ever is I guess.
– I don’t know what the point of this is
– It’s an exercise in meaningless chatter.
– It’s all my fault
– Look – I have an extra bellybutton.
– That’s between you and the monkeys
Tom
I grab Sue Ann sprinting past the cosmetics. As she spins away she lays a fist to my rib cage. “Bit me Wendell.” She spits. “No but they will.”With out missing a stride Suzie levels the shot gun behind her and takes out two Zmart associates. Since major retail chains started hiring Zombies Shopping is an adventure. Rounding the oral b Kiosk she hacks the ends off a half dozen toothbrushes with a machete. Out of housewares three associates claw at her. Sue pounds a brush into Two forehead rolls forward backhands the third zombie. Bitch clowns eat oral.
Beth and Gina
Fake Fire, Fake Tree, Fake Cat,
Real Beer, Real Whiskey, Real Smokes, Real Good.
Trust me.
Im sitting between a fake fireplace (television playing a fire inside a real fire place) and a Christmas tree made of plastic, donning lights, and crystalline ornaments.
The fake cat is asleep next to me. I watch it’s smooth even (battery powered) breaths.
So We are sitting here, watching Christmas on TV.
She’s got beer… real beer. Me? Whiskey, also real.
We are sitting here laughing about how wonderful it feels to be sitting here between a Fake Tree and Fake Fire holding a Fake cat…
thank God for Real Whiskey, Real Beer and Real Smokes!
Norval Joe
The examiner scowled at the graduate student. “Peter. You claim you weren’t able to collect all the data for your master’s thesis?”
“Yes, sir,” Peter said, a perpetually baffled expression furrowed his brow. “I trapped twelve red squirrels and took blood samples from each. I tested each sample for the ‘grey squirrel pox virus’. I gave each squirrel a pencil and questionarre to fill out. Three ate their pencils, eight made a run for it and escaped, and only one completed the questionarre.”
“Will this affect my final grade?” Peter asked.
“No,” the examiner smiled sadly, “I don’t think so.”
Planet Z
Christmas behind barbed wire, restricted to our barracks.
Almost all of the prison camp guards are in the guardhouse, drinking and singing and exchanging presents.
Presents we made for them as they held guns to the back of our heads.
The two guards that are here, we approach and offer our own gifts.
They think it’s a trap and point their guns at us.
“No,” we say. “It’s Christmas. Enjoy.”
They put down their guns, unwrap the gifts, and we attack them as quietly as possible.
No alarms. Nobody at the wall.
Make a break for it, elves! We’re free!