Ted doesn’t like it when you tickle his toes.
So, he wears thick socks. And boots.
Even when he’s in the shower.
Not that he’s ever in the shower with other people, but he’s not taking any chances.
He locks his bathroom door. And his front door.
All of his windows are barred.
He put up a fence, topped with barbed wire.
The paper boy died trying to deliver Ted’s paper.
Ted was found guilty of manslaughter and went to jail for it.
And he got raped in the shower. Repeatedly.
But, thank goodness, nobody tried to tickle his toes.