Silver Spoon

I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth.
Oh, sure, when I was a fetus in my mother’s womb, I had a silver spoon in my mouth.
But surgeons performed pre-natal surgery on me to remove the silver spoon before I was born.
Then, I was born without a silver spoon in my mouth.
As for the silver fork up my ass and the silver knife in my ear, well, the coroner assumed that Mother tried to steal a place setting from a fancy restaurant.
If only she had a coat with large deep pockets, I’d have lived.