St. Patrick didn’t just drive all of the snakes out of Ireland.
He also drove out all of the moose.
And he had a hand in expelling all of the rhinoceroses.
Rumor has it that he drove out every ostrich, but he may have had help.
Then there’s the alligators. St. Patrick sent them packing.
As for the kangaroos, they didn’t have a chance.
Neither did the gorillas. Every single one of them. Gone and forgotten.
For this, the Irish celebrate.
Well, except for the head zookeeper at the Dublin Zoo.
It’s best not to mention St. Patrick around him.