Caress the data

Ted was an honest statistician.
He collected data all day and ran it all through models for analysis.
But his partner Billy wasn’t honest.
Billy liked to massage the data.
He went full-on dirty and crude with the models. And only the hottest models.
Caressed the data in ways that would make any honest statistician blush.
Ted would hear strange sounds coming from Billy’s office.
He’d smell musty, strange smells.
And Billy would bring in packages wrapped in brown paper, never telling Ted what was in them.
Should they split?
Ted tossed a coin, and it landed on its edge.

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