Ned’s ark

Ned built an ark in his back yard.
Every time it rained, he’d herd the family into the ark.
“Get in the ark!” he’d shout. “It’s going to flood.”
When the rain stopped, he’d let the family back out of the ark.
“False alarm!” he’d shout. “But next time, just you wait and see!”
He’d hold surprise ark drills late at night, forcing his family to wake up and run for the ark.
“If this had been a real flood, you’d be drowned!” shouted Ned at his sleepy, shambling family.
They tied him up and set the ark on fire.

(… and that’s sixteen years for you.)

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