- Lizzie
- Richard
- Serendipidy
- Tom
- Norval Joe
- Planet Z
LIZZIE
Don’t.
Don’t go.
Don’t go for a walk.
Don’t.
Don’t go to the beach.
No, don’t swim.
Don’t sit and bury your fingers in the golden sand.
Don’t build castles and little houses that will crumble with the tide, and mountains with little steps on the side so little imaginary people could climb them safely, their toes feeling the warmth of the sun as they tread upwards.
Don’t .
Don’t stand so close.
Don’t sneeze and laugh and cough.
Don’t breathe.
Don’t wrap your arms around a sad shoulder.
Don’t breathe.
Don’t take things for granted.
Don’t breathe.
Don’t be…
Don’t.
RICHARD
Reverse Psychology
Reverse psychology: It’s clever stuff, at least that’s what they tell me.
If you want to convey a message, tell someone the opposite, and they won’t believe you; if you want someone to press the button, put a big sign over it saying, ‘Do NOT press this button’.
The trouble is, I know from bitter experience, it doesn’t work.
“Do you love me?”, asked the wife.
“No, I don’t!”, I replied with conviction.
“Well, do you want a divorce?”
“Yes, Absolutely!”
“You swine. I should give you a swift kick in the balls!”
“Please, do.”
Reverse psychology? It doesn’t work!
SERENDIPIDY
I’m not a people person.
Not the life and soul of the party.
Not the outgoing, gregarious fun seeker.
Not someone you’d want to share a long journey with.
I’m not your acquaintance.
Not your colleague.
Not your friend.
I am not.
But I could be.
So why not knock on my door.
Come on in, sit down, and share a drink.
Spend some time, tell me all about yourself.
And then.
Just maybe.
If I like you.
You’ll get to know.
What I really am.
But, I’m very sorry to say, by then it will be far too late.
TOM
In pajamas all day
Mark and Ann were progressive parents, who practiced progressive parenting. Not one’s willing to introduce negative speak patterns into their toddler Timmy they chose to use the word: not instead of the word: no. The hope was it would lay the ground work for reasoning framework that would serve a non-binary outcome, over ego driven self absorbent deflection. We are after all in the age or Trump. The initial interaction with Timmy proved promising. But when Timmy got his tiny hand on the family hand gun, the Not experiment was discontinued. Sadly Timmy had already sent his parents to the cornfield.
NORVAL JOE
Billbert stood in the driveway, folding his arms across his chest. “I’m not going to pack my stuff up. I’m not going to move. I’m going to stay right here.”
His mother put her arm around her husband’s waist. “Come on, Hosmer. Let’s give it some time. Maybe Billbert’s super powers won’t get around, this time.”
“It’s not safe, Honey Buns,” Mr. Wienerheimer said, obviously losing his determination. “People will want to take advantage of the boy.”
“We’ll keep a careful watch,” his mother assured.
Billbert had just dodged a bullet, but he needed to talk to Linoliumanda right away.
PLANET Z
After years of declining voter turnout and ugly negative campaigns, the elections commission racked their brains for a solution.
“We’re changing the ballots,” said the head commissioner. “Instead of voting for a candidate, you will vote against them.”
People cheered the changes.
Candidates increased their negative campaigning.
The media went gangbusters over it, slinging even more mud.
And then came Election Day.
People flocked to the polls.
And then… the results were announced.
“Nobody wins!” said the head commissioner. “Everybody loses!”
The commissioner then ran to the airport to catch a flight to somewhere that wasn’t such a fucked-up mess.