- Lizzie
- Richard
- Serendipidy
- Tom
- Tura
- Norval Joe
- Rick
- Planet Z
LIZZIE
She hated being a puppet in his hands. What gave her some peace was walking down the pathway with the old trees. One day, she noticed something shiny to the right. A marble perhaps? The next day, she brought some beads and left them there. And that’s when the gifts appeared on the pathway. First a bit of glass. Then, a button, an old key. It made her smile. It gave her strength. And she said “no more”. She walked away from him, for good. Today, she still walks that pathway, exchanging gifts with her new friend, a very generous crow.
RICHARD
Scum
“Got any gear?”
I looked at the kid with distaste. He was every inch the stereotypical druggie: Shambling and sniffing, his vacant eyes darting around in paranoid fear from his sallow, pock-marked face.
I nodded. “For the right price.”
He fumbled a handful of dirty bills from somewhere deep within his sweatpants – now you know why I always wear gloves – and I slipped him the small polythene packet.
I despise scum like him.
And I imagine that you despise scum, like me.
But, I’m just a puppet. It’s the people pulling my strings you should despise most.
I do.
SERENDIPITY
Have you ever wondered why so many serial killers remove their victims’ body parts to take as souvenirs?
It’s our reward for a job well done.
After all, no-one else is going to congratulate us on our work, so we have to take things into our own hands.
But, what to do with all those body parts, once we’ve got them? We can’t exactly put them on display or show them off to our friends!
So, I turn them into children’s toys: Lovingly crafted marionettes and puppets from stolen parts and pieces.
Perhaps your kids would like one for Christmas?
TOM
Cluster Fuck II
The woman who had set this in motion gave me that second grade teach stare. “Inappropriate language Master Marquette.” I always vexes me when someone with multiple children takes umbrage with the term. How the fuck did you end up with them, but say cluster fuck, well that just not polite intercourse. So I looked at her and gave her a “WE BE ADULTS HERE LOOK.” I wanted to say “I an’t no reward puppet, you call me up to dance, you better have a band a hand.” But she had dash back inside the hall as the music played.
TURA
Gear; Pit stop
———
At car races nowadays, the cars drive themselves, and the pit stops are totally automated. The machines can swap out a busted gearbox in seconds. No-one programs anything, the robots learn by competing against each other.
Rumour is that there’s no longer any human input, from the racetracks, to the factories, to the mines and oil wells. New tracks get built without anyone asking for them. There are twice as many as two years ago, and they’re bigger.
It’s still the most popular spectator sport, but soon the world might be just one huge racetrack, with no-one left to watch.
———
NORVAL JOE
One of the federal agents shouted at Mrs. Blanketmaker. “There’s a global conspiracy to turn all of you heroes into villains. You’re walking into their trap. Before you know it you’ll be puppets of their evil organization.”
Mr. Withybottom blustered at the agent, “Are you telling me that skinny little kid over there is, in fact, a superhero?”
The agent turned his back on Billbert’s mother. “We suspect he is. We will reward anyone with firsthand knowledge of him or anyone else using unusual powers.”
Mr. Withybottom pushed Linoliamanda forward with an evil smile. “Linny. Tell them what you know.”
RICK
General Store
Jerry had an old farmhouse, wrap around porch, big … BIG front room. And Jerry is always been something of a hoarder … food, water, cleaners, paper goods … He was set for the next 20 years.
Had a handpainted sign that read …
“General Store”
… If the sign was out front he was open for business … If not … then not.
Without a store around within 15 mi Jerry did well with cigarettes, soda, beer, and such, not a living … but he did okay.
He did make a killing on the corn liquor and homegrown marijuana!
Jerry what’s the richest guy in the county!
PLANET Z
It’s not like stealing the Mona Lisa, but long ago news broke that someone had stolen Kermit the Frog from Jim Henson’s office.
Sure, he had dozens of the things back in the day, but there was something special about this particular puppet.
And he kept it in his office, and after he died, they found it there, sitting in his chair.
People say it’s cursed. Or haunted.
The janitor at Henson Productions doesn’t even touch it.
Sometimes, when a tour goes through, people claim it’s staring at them.
But that’s just crazy. It only hunts and kills people, okay?