LIZZIE
When it all started, no one expected to understand. They waited. Some waited patiently, others complained. After a while, it was clear that since records began, time had been bent to the limit. What was happening? When? It seemed the safety net everyone knew – seconds, minutes, hours, days – had disappeared. Town clocks were removed. A law was issued. No watches.. What had happened would happen again, multiple times. Everyone got poorer and had to live in shanty towns. But he smiled. The colorful row of light bulbs crossing his street gave him solace…. And he decided not to wait anymore.
RICHARD
Since records began…
I’ve been recording these records since records began.
Before me, there were no records at all. So nobody ever used the phrase ‘since records began’, because they hadn’t.
Instead, our only frame of reference was what we could recall, so we’d say ‘as far back as I remember’, which wasn’t much use really, because everybody always disagreed, and some people’s memories were much better than others.
And, if no-one could remember, it probably never happened.
Even if it did.
But thankfully, that’s all changed now that we have records.
If only I could remember where I put the blasted things!
TURA
Since records began
———
It was a slow day in the newsroom, so I asked the weather guy if he had anything interesting.
“Do you realise this is the hottest day since records began?” he said excitedly.
It didn’t seem unusually warm to me, but I shrugged and asked, “Anything else?”
“Plenty!” he replied. “It’s also the rainiest day since records began.”
I looked out of the window at the rain shower. There were hardly even puddles in the road yet.
“And the rain’s broken the worst drought since records began!” he continued.
“Hang on,” I said. “When did records begin?”
“Er… last Tuesday.”
SERENDIPIDY
“Trevor, seen the news? It says global warming is at its worst since records began.”
Trevor swallowed the last of his sandwich and frowned… How could he still be so hungry? “That’s great, Pete was saying to me yesterday that he expects the next wave of Covid is going to be devastating.”
Will stopped cleaning his favourite pistol and chimed in, “let’s not forget the Russians and North Koreans: They’re just spoiling for a fight!”
“I suppose I should think about grooming the horses then?” Replied Debbie, “after all, people will expect us to look our best for the apocalypse!”
TOM
What Could Go Possible Wrong 010
“And here to us,” slurred Ford. Failing to heed the words on the old parchment he and his mates were deeply surround by empty pint glasses. Since records began at the Arm no one had polished off as many pints as Ford. Where was the Don he wondered and to this he added a pint to that waiting. Still holding the weathered parchment, the underclassman lazily turned over the yellowed object in his hand. Through a blurry hazy he made out a single word. DUCK. Funny he thought dropping his head to the table. BANG. The bullet removed his hat.
NORVAL JOE
Billbert took Sabrina by the arm to steady her. At first she glared at him, but her expression soon softened. As soon as she was still, and had caught her breath, Billbert said, “You’re right. I don’t know you. I have special powers. I can fly, and anyone holding my hand can fly with me. Now. Why don’t you tell me about what you can do.”
Sabrina took two quarters from her purse, walked to the soda machine, and dropped them in the slot. She drank the soda quickly, and said, “Since records began, my family has kept a secret.”
JARED
Those Aren’t Witches
“We’re not doing Vegas,” Whitney insisted. “As Maid of Honor, I will not allow you to be a cliché.”
“OK, Whit,” Natalie replied, rolling her eyes. “Whatever…”
Two weeks later, Whitney, Nora, and Olive ‘kidnapped’ Natalie for a “Wild Witches’ Weekend” in Salem, MA.
Whitney declared she had found an “authentic Salem Witch experience.” Their initial excitement gradually morphed into subdued terror in proportion to the time spent following their guides deeper into the woods.
They finally entered a clearing in the middle of an unearthly ceremony:
“…since records began, the Great Old Ones have slumbered, waiting to be summoned.” … … …
PLANET Z
As I entered the house and stepped into the hallway of doors, the door slammed shut behind me.
And the doors in the hallway flew open.
Ghosts floated in through the doors, filling the hallway.
I took out my notepad and pen.
“Can you stand in single file, please?” I said.
The ghosts nodded and floated into position.
I counted off the ghosts, and made notes on their appearance.
“Thank you,” I said, closing the notepad.
The ghosts floated back through the doorways, and slammed the doors shut.
I left, and walked to the next house on the abandoned street.