LISA
It was 1967 the smell of Evening in Paris hung heavy in the air. Brenda was twisting for all she was worth. A Cherry B waiting for her back at her table. Bert had at last plucked up the courage to talk.
“I’ve got a proposal!”
“Get you! We’ve only just met…”
He loved the ease with which she spoke. He wanted to marry her tomorrow.
“Errrr. Do you fancy going for a drink?”
She thought he looked like the son of Godzilla.
“Can’t. Me Mam wouldn’t like it!” He understood and Brenda escaped to go drink her Cherry B.
LIZZIE
He twisted the cord of the phone. The sweet smell of success in a single sentence. Nothing felt better than to hear someone say “I hate you”. He grinned. Hate is such a gracious way of living. He hated everyone and he was happy. No one bothered him. He bothered no one. And he was happy. The day he fell in the living-room, a sharp pain on his chest, he wasn’t alone. The dark tall figure by the door grinned and said “It’s time.”
All he could mutter was “I hate you” but this time he was definitely not happy.
RICHARD
The Proposal
I wanted my marriage proposal to be memorable. Something different and unusual, as well as being totally unexpected.
I considered all the usual variations on the theme… The ring in the bottom of a wine glass, baked into a fortune cookie or delivered to my sweetheart by a pure white dove.
But none of them really appealed to me, and besides, they’d all been done before.
In the end, I settled for simple and traditional: On one knee in a restaurant.
There’s an unexpected twist to this story though…
It was only then she told me she was already married!
SERENDIPIDY
If women knew what really goes into their perfumes, I’m sure they’d have second thoughts about putting them on their skin.
Trust me, I know. I’ve been in the business for years, and parfumiers aren’t reluctant about seeking out the most exotic and disgusting bases for their scents.
They’ll use waste petroleum products, animal secretions and nameless extractions from sources you really don’t want to know.
The perfumes I make are no exception. I won’t say what’s in them, but let’s just say animals, and people, were harmed in their manufacture.
But, for me, they’re the sweet smell of success.
TURA
Godzilla; trust
———
“I have found an interesting new race,” said One. “If they burst out from their planet into the galaxy, they promise greatness or great destruction. It has been many rotations since their like was seen.”
“Let us give them the Godzilla test,” said Two. “A superweapon where, if one uses it, they dominate the world, but if another retaliates, the world is destroyed. If they can develop the mathematics of trustworthiness, then in half a rotation we may greet them. If not, they eliminate themselves.”
On Earth, several nuclear physicists awoke from strange dreams bearing the key to unweave matter.
TOM
What Could Go Possibly Wrong 035
“Watch your head,’ said Bender as he lowered the hatch of the Leviathan. Ford could feel the bulk of the ship swinging to the north. But that didn’t make any sense. The Thames was to the south. A flurry of voices rose from the command bridge just below them. Cutting through the cross talk a single order boomed out. “Engage the Chewy.” The cry of a 1000 knives scrabbing cross stone echo in Ford’s bones. The Chewy was boring through the stone directly below St Marks. At same time they moved forward, the Chewy was taking them downward at six degrees.
What Could Go Possibly Wrong 036
“Arnesto, where are we going?” ask Ford. “To hell,” cut in Red “well damn near close to it.” Bender had placed himself to Red’s side while she continued. “ I have a proposal. We get you to your destination, we get the pint glass. Let both our overlord swim in the sweet smell of success.” “Deal.” said Cervantes. “Don’t I get a say in this?” stated Ford. “Why Ford, how unlike you.” raised Bender. “ You really don’t have a clue what this is all about. Do you?” Fort produced a shoot glass from his vest. All got very quiet.
NORVAL JOE
Billbert froze. Sabrina was in his bedroom and he had been sleeping in his underwear. He tried to twist around beneath his sheet to turn over without exposing himself. “Mom. Really? You brought her into my bedroom?”
His mother laughed. “Don’t you trust me, son? I wouldn’t let her attack you, if that’s what you’re afraid of. She said she has a proposal for you and it will just take a second.”
Billbert sighed. “You don’t know her mom. This proposal could be a life sentence.”
Sabrina giggled. “Really Billbert. It’s not like I’m asking you to marry me. Yet…”
PLANET Z
There was a mistake in the proposal.
One sentence removed from a draft had made it back in.
Instead of setting up a trust for his grandchildren, Elias was giving everything to charity.
At least that’s what the grandchildren’s lawyers claimed in court.
The charity’s attorneys disputed it.
“I hate those bastards,” they read from a letter. “Fuck them all.”
After years of litigation, there was no money left for either side to fight.
The charity folded. The grandkids had to get jobs.
And the lawyers laughed.
“I hate those lawyer bastards!” is what the old man had actually written.