RICHARD
Dunno!
“That’s cheating!”
“What do you mean, cheating? It’s a perfectly legitimate use of the word!”
“Yeah, hardly in the spirit of things is it? ‘Detective Jim Blocker was the precinct’s finest cop…’ If the prompt had been ‘hashtag’, would you call him Detective Jim Hashtag? Of course not. Just make the effort, will you?”
“I’ve tried, but I just can’t come up with anything.”
“Well, if you ask me, that’s just a copout! If you’ll excuse the pun.
The thing is, when you have writers’ block, you can’t give in. You’ve just gotta find a way to remove that blocker.”
LIZZIE
“The bike?”
“Yes! She took it. She says the oddest things. She listens to what I say and reorganizes everything in her head only to spit out sentences filled with hatred. And she says one thing one day to say the exact opposite the next, but swearing she never ever said what she said first. She is crazy. So, I blocked her. There.”
“I wasn’t talking about her. And I said blocker, not block her.”
“Oh… Well, I suppose I’m a pop-up blocker then. She won’t pop up in my life again, that’s for sure. Sadly, neither will my bike.”
SERENDIPIDY
Desperately, I flushed a third time, only for the water to rise perilously close to the top of the pan, whilst the offending, massive, pipe-blocker, obstinately refused to disappear.
I weighed up my options: I could just admit my crime, but that would be goodbye to any second date. Escape through the bathroom window? No, that was plain stupid.
And no way was I going to attempt to shift it by hand.
Only one thing for it.
I returned downstairs to my date.
“I’m sorry to say this, you won’t believe what your sister left in the toilet bowl!”
NORVAL JOE
Not wanting to be late for class, Billbert got to the scoreboard well before school. Sabrina’s eyes lit up when she saw him and broke off from other students standing in a cluster.
Billbert held up a hand. “You’ve never explained why physical contact is so important for your magic use.”
She shrugged. “Fair enough. It clears away the parascomps. Their like beta blockers and prevent the reuptake of magical energy expended the previous day.”
Billbert looked at the other student who only held hands. “Okay. But why kissing?”
Sabrina wrapped her arms around his chest. “Because I like it.”
PLANET Z
The Walther PPK was James Bond’s gun.
Bond started with a Baretta, but Q suggested that he switch to a PPK.
And you know boys and their toys.
Elvis gave the guy who played Felix Leiter a gold-plated PPK.
And Elvis himself owned a silver-plated one.
It’s the gun he shot his TV with when Robert Goulet totally botched the national anthem.
Many armies and police use it today.
You’d think it was some kind of hero’s gun.
Did you know it was Hitler’s sidearm, too?
He shot himself with one.
Good. Bad.
It depends on the hand it’s in.