Lucky Charms cereal isn’t just bad for you because of all the sugar.
Diabetes. Tooth decay.
It also has so many colored marshmallows in it.
The most important marshmallow is the red balloon.
If your bowl has 99 of them in it, be careful.
Do not throw the bowl into the air.
Russian and American radar will mistake the cereal for some kind of missile attack.
And they will retaliate with a nuclear exchange.
So many people will die.
The survivors will be left to sift through the radioactive ruins.
And that’s why we eat plain Cheerios, you stupid kid.