LISA
Reasonable Grounds
Julian thought he was clever and had destroyed all the evidence in the taxi but the one thing he couldn’t hide was the glint of delight in his eye. His wife, Sally, had waited up for him and although she hadn’t seen that glint for a while, recognised it instantly.
So there were no secrets as the couple got into bed but Julian didn’t know that as he slipped into his contented slumber. Sally stared at the stranger she’d been married to for twenty years before deciding she wouldn’t divorce him. Then slowly pressed her pillow over his sleeping head.
LIZZIE
“No evidence,” repeated the impatient historian.
“But Professor…”
The historian stormed out.
Stubborn fuckers, he thought.
So, he went back to Japan to check the temple again.
“Doubting me… Unacceptable.”
After weeks of research, he found the small button in a dark corner.
Click. A whole new room opened up.
“Damn, they were right,” he whispered.
The historian quickly closed the secret room and pulled a chest over to hide the stupid button.
The next day, the button and his stubbornness were all over the news.
“They followed me…”
And this is how arrogance is the beginning of your downfall.
RICHARD
Evidence?
Maybe those ancient astronaut theorists are right? After all, it’s not beyond the bounds of possibility that our ancestors came from elsewhere.
The evidence, they say, in the books that they’ve written and the documentaries that are beamed into our living rooms is incontrovertible.
Ancient spaceships of the gods, or simply the remains of past civilisations?
Strange markings in the desert… Pre-historic runways, or perhaps the tracks of celestial vehicles? Who can really tell?
They’re certainly intriguing, but I’m not convinced.
The Moon has always been humanity’s home.
The very thought we may have come from elsewhere, is simply preposterous!
ZACKMANN
I miss Saturday morning cartoons and do feel one of the things that led to their demise is restrictions on advertisements for sugar coated sugar filled breakfast cereals.
It could be time to add monsters who eat healthier cereals to the likes of Count Chocula, Boo Berry, and Franken Berry.
The first new Saturday cartoon could be about a Corporate Knight, possibly named Bran Stoker using his guide the ChexCrowNommicon to find evidence of the new creatures.
Once I think of names to go with unsweetened shredded wheat and raisinless bran flakes I can send my pitch to General Mills.
SERENDIPIDY
It’s a well-established principle in law that, without a body, you’re going to have a hell of a job proving a murder.
In fact, without a body, lacking any other incriminating evidence, proving that any crime has taken place is going to be difficult.
After all, people go missing all the time.
It doesn’t have to be abduction, torture and murder, just because they aren’t anywhere to be found.
Although, in this case, it was.
But, that’s not a confession, just a statement of fact.
As for the body?
Well, I can neither confirm, nor deny, it was delicious!
TURA
P(A|B) = P(B|A) P(A) / P(B)
———
Now STUDENT was perplex’d, and asked GOODWILL, “How may I know the road to the Castle of Truth? For these philosophers wander in circles unending.”
Then GOODWILL answer’d, “Dost thou see this narrow way? It was cast up by Bayes and His apostles Jeffreys and Jaynes; and it is as straight as a rule can make it: this is the way that thou must go. Now FREQUENTIST hath said to thee, that there are many roads to that Castle; but one only proceedeth steadfastly toward it, though in his obstinacy he refus’d it, and that is the Way of Bayes.”
———-
A guide for the perplex’d can be found at https://arbital.com/p/bayes_rule/.
NORVAL JOE
Billbert closed his eyes and sighed. “Now you’re hurting my head. You’re just talking in circles. You say that magic doesn’t need to be learned or performed, but we still need to make contact to activate our magic each day. What evidence do you have that you even have magic?”
Sabrina looked up at the clear blue sky. When Billbert started to speak, she held up her hand. “Wait for it.”
First one raindrop landed on his hand, then another on his face, then a light rain shower sprinkled the two. A single black rain cloud had formed above them.
PLANET Z
My lawyer is on the aggressive side.
She logged the entire universe into evidence.
The whole damn universe.
The judge allowed it, and the bailiffs were stuck hauling the entire universe into the courtroom.
Police were tasked with bagging and tagging everything, cataloging it, and handing it to the bailiffs as my lawyer introduced every piece of the universe.
She explained how it fit into the case, and after five weeks, the judge declared a mistrial.
The state declined to retry me. I was let go.
“Next time you get a fucking parking ticket,” my lawyer said. “Don’t call me.”