LISA
The Smell of Onions
There was an air of excitement around the table. Don’t get me wrong, we were still quiet but hopeful and very hungry. We’d sat a while listening to the crash of pans escaping from the crack in the kitchen door, daring each other to ask Mum when it would be ready.
As the eldest it was left up to me and I didn’t know how to tell them it was another project. There was nothing cooking, she was boiling fabric with onion skins to dye it. I grabbed a packet of crackers, cheese and apples. Another Christmas we’d never forget.
RICHARD
Time Dilation
There’s a popular belief that time slows down in the moments before a crash.
You see events unfolding in slow motion, your whole life flashes before your eyes, and somehow you find time to wish you’d put on a decent pair of underpants that morning. All before you go crashing into the wall, or vehicle coming head-on towards you.
Such was the inspiration for Uncle Frank’s great invention: A device that maximised that slowing effect, giving you enough time to escape the inevitable, unscathed.
That worked perfectly.
It was the huge crash back to normal speed that killed you.
LIZZIE
The bikes were new. He sneered. He didn’t know about the upcoming crash. He didn’t know she’d made a decision. Which one should he ride first? Yes, this one. She had told him not to, but he wanted to ride those bikes. He didn’t care about her. In fact, her words sounded like a warning, the bitch. He never cared about anyone else. He always did what he wanted. When the time came for her to say a few words at the funeral, she sneered and said “Hope you had fun being who you were. Your ride is now over.”
SERENDIPIDY
As if from a distance, I heard the urgent shouts, “Code Blue. We need a crash cart in here!”
Then, people running, frantic activity, and -at the end of it all- the long, unwavering tone of the flatline, a piercing finality, bringing proceedings to their close.
“Time of death, Twelve forty two.”
Smiling, I smoothed my nurse’s uniform, discreetly exited the room and briskly walked down the corridor.
Another doorway beckons, another room, another patient.
I draw the syringe from my pocket and plunge it into their neck.
Then, I step back, hit the alarm, and wait for the action!
NORVAL JOE
Sabrina rolled her eyes impatiently. “Sure. I could cure your eyesight. But there are legal ramifications. Such as, if you got into a car crash after we cast a corrective spell, you could attempt to sue based on an expectation of wellness.”
Linoliamanda nodded thoughtfully but Billbert shook his head. “Are you serious?”
Sabrina shrugged. “No and yes. We don’t expect to be sued. We just say that to keep from helping people we don’t like.”
“Right,” Billbert said. “You just met Linoliamanda. How can you say you don’t like her?”
Sabrina sniffed. “She just rubs me the wrong way.”
PLANET Z
Humans are destroying the planet’s rainforests at an alarming pace.
Barely half the rainforests from twenty years ago are still standing.
Farmers and developers are cutting down the trees and plowing up the land.
The Rainforest Cafe exploied the crisis by letting people buy overpriced trinkets and food in Chuck-e-cheesey animatronic environments.
But the theme restaurant is waning, and barely half of them are still standing.
So, I’ve ripped off my Save the Rainforests bumpersticker, and replaced it with Save the Rainforest Cafes.
I smile as I fill the tank at the gas station, spilling a bit on the pavement.