LISA
A Sunday Drive
I was up front next to Dad.
It wasn’t a treat to be there, there was just no room in the back. My head juddered against the car window as I stared out, wondering what my friends were doing with their weekend. The city with its lights, traffic and bustle turned into country lanes full of so much green and sky. I felt I never wanted to blink again.
We stopped. It felt remote. Rabbits ran across a field full of little yellow flowers. Dad shouted at me to help drag the mattress out the van.
Then we went home.
RICHARD
Halloween
Putting aside the remote, and futile hope Halloween might be cancelled this year, he resigned himself to the annual onslaught of irritating kids, traipsing over his lawn to demand sweets, with dire warnings of repercussions, should he fail to deliver.
Grimly, he mused that any other night of the year, or if the rules were reversed and he was the one making threats to children, the authorities would, no doubt, take a dim view of such behaviour.
Halloween… He hated it.
Still, he’d get his own back on them at Christmas.
Santa grinned nastily, and poured himself another Jack Daniels.
LIZZIE
“The remote is not working. I cannot change the colors. What? We always change the colors. Summer, Autumn, Wint… Why not? But we just need a new remote. Well, you’re the Creator. That’s your job! Mine is to change the colors. OK, whatever.”
No Autumn this year.
Then, he sneered.
“No help from above?! OK, then. I’ll be God for a season!”
He painted all the houses red. The fences became bright orange and the stones of the pathways golden.
People smiled, amused.
He spread his wings, waved and smiled back, proud of the village he was in charge of.
SERENDIPIDY
There’s no Internet, no mains power or gas, and a septic tank collection, once a month.
The only access is a dirt track, and the nearest settlement is two hours’ drive. I’m well off the beaten track, away from prying eyes.
People wonder how I can live in such a remote location, and honestly, it’s not that easy. I struggle with loneliness and the nights are long and dark. I’ve frequently considered moving back to civilisation and friendly faces.
If I could, I would. But, I can’t.
I have to live out here, because otherwise, people would hear the screams.
NORVAL JOE
Linoliamanda folded her arms and frowned. “Yes. It is coincidence that my father opened a store in this remote, out of the way town at the same time you claim someone is plotting to capture Billbert. Anyway. I think you’re just making that up.”
Billbert laughed and rolled his eyes. “Really Linoliamanda, believe her. It’s the Knights of the Roundtable, or something.”
Fire could have flashed from Sabrina’s eyes. “It’s the Dark Knights and they’re really dangerous.”
Linoliamanda’s eyes went wide. “The Dark Knight? You mean, like, Batman?”
Sabrina’s face turned dark and fat raindrops began to splatter around them.
PLANET Z
A remote is useful if there’s more than an arm’s length between you and a device.
Televisions, cable boxes, ceiling fans.
That kind of thing.
My Dyson fan on the nightstand by the bed has a remote.
So, you’d think the remote would be useless, since I can turn on and off the fan directly.
The problem is, you have to use the remote for oscillation and speed
And the timer, which I never use.
Problem is, the remote is tiny, and easy to lose.
So I replaced the Dyson with a cheap normal fan.
And it works just fine.