RICHARD
Night Errors
Why is it that we have all our best ideas at the most inconvenient times?
For me, it’s always in the dead of night, lying in bed, when in that half-waking, half-asleep haze, storylines will wander unbidden through my mind; chapters, plots, characters and narrative slip into my thoughts, to form perfectly composed and complete stories.
Of course, by the following morning, I’ve forgotten everything. That bestselling story, lost forever.
I started keeping a notebook by the bed, just to record those nocturnal thoughts. Problem solved, you’d think.
But no. I’m so sleepy, I completely forget it’s there!
LIZZIE
He told her the coffee sucked.
She didn’t take it lightly.
He sneered. The situation was funny.
She said “no”. As a matter of fact, she heated a cup and threw it at his face.
He didn’t think the situation was funny anymore.
She laughed because now she thought it was hilarious.
He didn’t laugh.
She told him “chill”. Coffee was just coffee.
He said that coffee wasn’t just coffee a minute ago.
The burn mark on his face cost her a few years of her life.
Sometimes laughing becomes a serious matter, especially when you already have a record.
SERENDIPIDY
It was me.
I did it. It was all my fault, and I’m the guilty party.
You may not be able to prove any of it, in fact, I’m quite sure you can’t, but as God is my witness, I’m completely responsible, and proud of my achievements.
Maybe my confession is enough, but I doubt it will stand up in a court of law, especially since the star witness – me – will be conspicuous by my absence.
You won’t catch me. You don’t even know who I am.
All you will ever know, is that I’m responsible.
Just, for the record.
ZACKMANN
I asked a music instructor what would be an easy instrument for an older person to learn to play. I had a recorder like they tried to teach me to play in elementary school in mind.
He asked me why now. I told him that I’m a big fan of The Mutual Audio Network podcasts and would like to introduce my grandnieces to audio drama.
When he mentioned he still didn’t understand my sudden interest in playing instrumentals
I informed him that many of the shows I think they would like, warn children shouldn’t listen unless accompanied by an adult.
NORVAL JOE
Billbert headed for the gate of the junior high school with the two girls following him. “Are you following me?”
Sabrina said, “No. We’re just going home.”
Billbert stopped. Just beyond the gate were the two boys that picked the fight with him.
One of them blocked his way. “You thought you could escape without taking your beating. Come to me.”
Sabrina took out her phone and turned on the camera.
“Are you going to record this to show the principal?” Billbert asked.
“No. For the coven,” Sabrina said. “I want to show them how you vanquish the Dark Knights.”
TURA
Record
———
Old things are dangerous. Brute matter, no upgrades, no revisions. Antiques, my girlfriend called them.
Her latest find was a black plastic disc a foot across. “I haven’t found a playback machine yet,” she said, “but listen.” She took a pin and dragged it along the surface, and I heard a faint snatch of music.
“Data storage? In moulded plastic?” I groped for words. “But that’s…”
“Permanent recording?” she said blithely.
“Yes!” I shouted. “Do you realise the penalties?” I snatched it away from her and broke it over my knee, then threw the fragments into our apartment’s memory hole.
PLANET Z
I remember the first record I bought.
It was a Monty Python album I bought from my brother, who was getting rid of his comedy albums.
I got a bunch of other comedy albums from the store, like George Carlin and Emo Phillips.
And I listened to them a lot, over and over.
They filled the gap between comedy specials on HBO, because this was before streaming and on-demand.
Over time, I got tapes… then CDs… then MP3 downloads.
I don’t know what happened to my records or record player.
I shrug, and look up Gallagher on YouTube, and watch.