George the spiderpirate

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
Until a radioactive spider bit him.
George spent three days in his bunk, shivering and fevering, only getting up to throw up and go back to bed.
After three days, George didn’t climb the walls or shoot webs from his hands.
Nor did he put on a red and blue costume and fight crime.
No, George was dying from radiation sickness.
All of his hair fell out, he threw up a lot more, and he lost a lot of weight.
And then he died.
His crewmates threw him overboard.