George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He’d been all around the world, but mostly by accident or as a result of poor navigation.
When he found himself in India, he tried his usual hostage-taking and ransoming racket.
However, all he could manage to do was take some cows captive.
“They believe that these are their reincarnated ancestors, right?” said George.
So, he sent ransom notes to their relatives.
Who had also died and come back as cows.
George ended up with three gallons of milk, which he traded for a map back to Port Royal.