The proper burrito

Burritos need to be wrapped like they’re about to be loaded into the back of a coroner’s wagon.
The rice needs to be so Spanish, when I walk into the restaurant, it puts me on the rack and makes me confess and convert.
The onions grilled to the point where they make themselves cry.
The refried beans need to be cooking for a decade in a pot that’s never been cleaned.
The kitchen needs to be an animal carcass horror show designed by Toby Hooper.
And when you stick in your fork, it bursts like the chef facehugged John Hurt.