Even though there’s dog waste bag dispensers and disposal kiosks, people still walk their dogs and rarely pick up after them.
It stinks, it’s unhealthy, the shit’s all over the sidewalk, and my laundry cart ends up rolling over the turds.
So, I go from door to door with an ultrasonic dog whistle and blow it.
If I hear a dog barking, I make a note and move on to the next door.
After getting an inventory of dog owners, I wait until night, and then I shit on their welcome mats.
“You’re welcome,” I shout, and run back home.