When my mother wasn’t dumping me in daycare while she bowled, it was in front of the TV.
The television wasn’t just my babysitter, but it was my teacher.
I watched Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street and Romper Room.
Learning really stupid things.
One lesson was that a puppet cop could hold up his hand and stop traffic.
So when I ran out in the street in front of our house and played Monkey In The Middle, all I needed to do was hold up my hand.
It didn’t stop the spanking punishment.
I spanked my stuffed Grocer in retaliation.