RICHARD
Role Models
The school called my parents. They wanted to speak to them with concerns they had about my home environment.
All because of a stupid writing assignment: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’
I’d written I wanted to become a loan shark, just like my dad.
And why not?
People treated him with a great deal of respect, he brought home a good wage and it was a steady income.
I’m not too worried about it though.
He’s taking my mum with him.
She has a good job too.
She’s the one who makes people pay up!
LISA
He thought he was the big shark in the business, but his tobacco brand was not selling. We kept playing the part. We kept nodding like nodding dogs at the mercy of a car’s twists and turns. It made him happy and we wanted him happy. Or did we? When he died, the company was dismantled. Finally, no more debt. What we didn’t know was that he had a stash of millions hidden in a vault at home. The will kept us all from getting those millions. The sneaky bastard… Even after dying, the shark managed to kick our butts.
LISA
The New Normal
After that first secret meeting he took me aside regularly; usually outside. I thought I was special: the chosen one.
No day was the same there but they always started with a gong sounding: some days before the sun rose, others it was midday. I didn’t question. Others did.
“Why’s the gate locked?”
“To keep the sharks out darling!”
Darling, Man, Sweetness… I’m not sure when we lost our names.
We never had the same room twice, there was no rota – it just worked. We shared everything: clothes, the space (it was vast) We weren’t individuals anymore; we were one.
SERENDIPIDY
I always fancied having a shark tank. You know the sort: A big, hidden tank with a trap door over the top, and a big red button for me to push to dispose of minions who displease me.
Trouble is, that sort of thing is costly, and sharks are hard to come by. Not that I have any minions to dispose of anyway.
But, one can dream. It’s something to aspire to.
Until then, I have my tropical fishes.
Would you like to feed them?
Put your hand in the water, and they’ll come to eat.
Piranhas are such fun!
NORVAL JOE
When kindly Nurse Racquet was nowhere in sight as shift change began, the charge nurse entered Sabrina’s room with all the compassion of a great white shark. She attacked Billbert. “What are you doing here? It’s after hours and you’re not family.”
Sabrina clasped both of her hands on Billbert’s. “I needed him to stay. And I need him to come back tomorrow, and everyday I’m here.”
“Nurse Racquet said Sabrina could request me to visit when she woke up. She’s awake now.” Billbert turned to Sabrina. “Is it okay if I bring my mother tomorrow?”
Sabrina nodded and smiled.
TOM
Card Sharks
I met the shark in the dive in the back-end of Las Vegas. The temp hovered between a 108 and 110. Dry air smelled of abandon Chapel of Loves and six-dollar hotels. He sat in a brown vinyl booth running cards to his left hand. A steady soft click 808s keeping time with piped in music. I slid into the both directly across from him. I pulled out a packet of red 808s. I shuffled a neat pair of faro-s. The shark smiled. I dealt out a royal flush in hearts. “ok kid” he said “let do some major damage.”
PLANET Z
Dinger Davis bet on games, and that got him banned for life.
So when Dinger’s experimental plane crashed, he was unbanned and inducted into the Hall of Fame.
And to everyone’s surprise, Dinger showed up at the ceremony.
The commissioner canceled the ceremony and banned Dinger again.
Dinger clutched his chest, muttered “heart attack”, and collapsed on the ground.
“Yeah, right,” said the commissioner, walking away. “Nice try, you bastard.”
Dinger lay there dying for about a minute before anyone thought to come to his aid.
And despite a paramedic declaring Dinger dead, the commissioner refused to change his mind.
CHATGPT
In the depths of the ocean, a lone shark named Blue swam silently, his sleek body cutting through the water with ease. Despite his reputation, Blue wasn’t a fierce predator; he was a curious explorer. One day, while swimming near a coral reef, Blue discovered an injured sea turtle struggling to move. Instead of ignoring it, Blue gently nudged the turtle to a safer spot. Over time, Blue returned with food and protection until the turtle healed. As the turtle swam away, Blue felt a sense of fulfillment, knowing that sometimes the fiercest hearts are the kindest of all.
Train the cats to click.