LIZZIE
“Plain and simple. No more bickering, you hear?”
The kids nodded.
“We’re going to enjoy the trip to the sea.”
The kids nodded.
“And get rid of that right now.”
The kids chuckled.
“Don’t you chuckle, now.”
The kids nodded and took the chewing-gums from their mouths.
“This is not going to be easy…”
The train arrived and the nanny got distracted for just a split second.
A few minutes later, while looking for the tickets, she found… the gums, in her pocket.
The kids laughed and laughed, and thought that this would be a great trip to the sea.
RICHARD
Mob Rules
They do say that the best way to hide something is in plain sight.
It’s not.
The best way to hide something, is encased in concrete, deep within the foundations of a building, out of sight, out of mind and out of reach of law enforcement.
OK, take five and grab a coffee.
I’d never expected to have to attend workshops on criminal best practice when I signed up to the Mafia, but I was enjoying them, and learning a great deal in the process.
I was looking forward to the next session: ‘Sleeping with the fishes: A beginner’s guide.’
SERENDIPIDY
They asked me what I wanted for my last meal. I told them I’d like something bland, keep it plain and simple. Nothing spicy, nothing heavy or stodgy and something that wouldn’t give me indigestion.
It was bad enough being condemned to death, without worrying about enduring a dodgy stomach or a nasty bout of acid reflux on top of it.
I had chicken soup, with plain, crusty bread.
It was very pleasant.
Then they led me down to meet ‘Old Sparky’, strapped me in and threw the switch.
In the end, I got a good fry up, after all.
TOM
Do not Tom it up.
I’ve always been fascinated by words that do double duty. Like second and second. A thing of one and a thing of two. Or words that sound alike like berry and bury. Words like “set” with 430 different definitions. To shift from a noun to a verb is major word jujitsu. You hammer with a hammer. Saw with a saw. You can tie a tie. You can sin a sin. My favorite having spent time as a cabinetmaker’s apprentice is to plain with a plain. In the rain, possible in Spain. My goal for my name is to become an adjective.
NORVAL JOE
Since Sabrina had been awake all day, Billbert and his mother were let right in.
She lay under a plain white sheet with only her injured leg exposed.
Billbert said, “You’ve met my mom.”
His mother stepped to the bed and took Sabrina’s hand.
Sabrina shivered, and leaned forward to look at the external fixators protruding from her leg. The sheet slid away to expose bare shoulders. She stared intently at Billbert’s mother. “You have healing magic?”
Mrs. Wienerheimer smiled. “No. It’s my superpower. I induce efficiency. For the next half-hour your body will heal with greater effectiveness and speed.”
PLANET Z
Alicia died young.
Her body was wrapped in burlap and buried out by the big oak tree behind the house.
No headstone or marker.
Years later, after her parents sold the property to a developer, a backhoe uncovered her bones.
“Don’t say a thing,” said the contractor, throwing the bones into a plastic bag and throwing them into the construction waste dumpster.
It was a good mall, as malls go, until a bigger mall went up across town and everybody went there instead.
A diploma mill college moved into the empty stores, and a call center for online shopping returns.