TOM
Absolute Torch and Twang
Crystal Fret was a county western singer in the early 40s. A solid voice but wasn’t graced with a lot of luck. Never could rise to the top of the game. Or for that matter the middle of the game. She was the girl on the third mic. Repeating the reframe. Crooning on the long note. Was on a few Your Hit Parade, even made an appearance on the Grand Ole Opper. Crystal Fret was born in Brooklyn and never could quite lose that New York “R” and “d”. Later in life she became the head tour guide at Graceland.
RICHARD
To the letter
I knew I was in trouble again. She had ‘that’ look on her face – the mix of frustration, annoyance and disbelief, it was a look that spelled just one thing.
“Well?” She stood there, hands on hips, demanding a reply.
“Well, what?” I responded innocently.
“The washing up! You’ve only done half of it, and left all the pots and pans. And you’ve haven’t dried anything!”
I gave her my smug, self-satisfied look.
“You asked me to wash the dishes, that’s what I’ve done. You said nothing about the rest.”
I’m an English teacher, and I just love semantics!
LIZZIE
Crystal was a cow. She was content with her simple bucolic life. When aliens appeared near the creek, she decided to investigate. “Cheers,” she mooed. The aliens got startled and, in a panic, hid behind a rock. “What’s up?” But they just stared at her. “Moo?” Nothing. “Ok, well, nice to meet you guys.” And she trotted away. Later, when the aliens snuck up on her with a syringe, she went “Oh, no, you won’t! It’s bad enough you’re poking around.” That seemed like a pretty clear statement. But the aliens were confused. Poke? Around? Semantics, semantics are a bitch!
SERENDIPIDY
“Cross my palm with silver, and your future will be laid bare before you.”
The politician passed me a sizeable wad of cash.
I shook my head and beckoned for more. He was happy to comply.
Muttering an invocation quietly to myself, I passed my hands over the crystal ball, then looked up at him, a gleam in my eye.
“It will be a landslide victory!”
After he’d left the tent, I chuckled. It would be a landslide alright… for his opponent!
I gathered up the pile of cash from the table.
My future, on the other hand, looked rosy!
NORVAL JOE
It was crystal clear to Billbert how upset Sabrina was at the mention of Mandi’s name. What was not clear was why.
Billbert tried to fold his arms, but Sabrina quickly grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. Billbert shrugged. “I haven’t seen Mandi since the shooting and I want to make sure she’s okay. Just like I did with you.”
Sabrina released his hand and closed her eyes like she was going to sleep. “If you have to see Lindi Mindi. Go.”
“It’s nothing to fret about,” Billbert Grumbled, heading out. “Mom said she would check on you later.”
PLANET Z
Every now and then, I look for something in the kitchen and can’t find it.
Is it in the cupboard? Is it in the left drawer? The right?
In the kitchen island?
Or the pantry, or on the shelves of the mud room?
There’s a point at which I’ll just give up and drive to Walmart to get a new one of whatever instead of asking where it is.
We needed a new one of that anyway, I tell myself.
The shelves and cabinets and cupboards and drawers get more and more cluttered.
Future bargains for the inevitable estate sale.
CHATGPT
At the heart of the bustling kitchen, Emma and Jake argued over semantics—whether the dish should be called “stew” or “soup.” Amid the clattering of pots and pans, their disagreement grew, fueled by the stress of their upcoming dinner party. Outside, a landslide of rain pattered against the windows, echoing their tension. “Let’s not fret over names,” Jake finally said, raising a glass of wine. “Cheers to making something delicious!” Emma smiled, the argument melting away like crystal-clear rainwater. As they cooked side by side, the simple act of creating together turned their debate into a cherished memory.