Han Solo became a deadbeat dad.
Luke Skywalker, a failed teacher and pathetic hermit.
Willow… whatever that midget’s name was, a squib of a sorcerer.
While the hero, Mad Mordigan, dies offscreen of toxic masculinity.
The last of the heroes, Indiana Jones, a sad, worn out old man, dragged across the world by his goddaughter, until shot in the chest and begging to be left to die.
Queen Kathleen looks over the graveyard of Lucasfilm heroes and grins.
Her plan complete.
Bob Iger taps her on the shoulder.
Shows Kathleen the balance sheet, and says: “Get the fuck out, asshole.”