The next topic is Banana split
RICHARD
Finding myself
I quit my job, sold up, bought a backpack, then disappeared for six years.
At the time, life was crap and – according to the self-help books I’d read – the key to finding direction in life was immersing oneself in other cultures, seeking meaning through self-discovery.
Among other things, I picked tomatoes in Spain, stayed in a Japanese monastery, bathed in the Ganges and went walkabout in the Australian outback.
I discovered I was susceptible to sunburn, got robbed in Manilla and contracted bilharzia from my river exploits… But, I learned one very valuable lesson.
Self-help books suck.
SERENDIPIDY
Good luck with finding this body!
I’ve given it special treatment… chopped up into bite-sized morsels, all strategically scattered in remote locations; little treats for bears, wolves and other scavengers.
As for the skull and the larger bones, those have all been shredded into splinters, and dumped in rivers, and the ocean.
It was surprisingly easy to do, and although a little messy, that was only to be expected.
You see, I used my shiny, new chainsaw to get the job done.
Quick, efficient, and extremely effective for the task at hand.
I knew it would come in handy!
TOM
Public Service
Yesterday, I was appointed to my Seventh Grand Jury. I do grand jury really well. I’m called up went thing inside the black box go somewhat off the rails. Bit like herding cats. You might not know but there are grand jury which are not criminal. My Jury looks into matters of county level governance. We interview county officers, locate procedure which need corrections. Basically, we file a final report with numbers of recommendations. All recommendations are supported by multiple findings. Hardest part of my job is explaining the different between facts and findings to jurors at larger. Not easy.
NORVAL JOE
Billbert carried a box of magical items to the car. Finding that he was alone, he went back to the cabin. Sabrina sat on the edge of the porch and his mother next to her, her arm around the girl’s shoulders.
Sabrina sobbed heavily.
Clueless, Billbert asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Oh, Son,” his mother said, shaking her head. “Think about it. This was Sabrina’s home. And this is where she was shot and her grandmother was killed. We probably shouldn’t have come here so soon.”
Billbert sat next to Sabrina. With a shuddering sigh, she lay her head on his shoulder.
LIZZIE
The man in the cave wanted to be left alone. However, when they spotted him wandering about, they thought it was a great finding. A real caveman. Alive. Yes! Interviews, a book, a TV series, a movie, the money stacking up in their bank accounts. Did they think about the man in the cave? Nope. So, the man in the cave decided to treat them as he would any other animal. No, he didn’t eat them. He just hung them upside down from a tree and watched. It was highly entertaining. Well, what a shame they didn’t last long.
PLANET Z
I was never any good with Rubiks Cubes.
Even with a book, I could never solve them.
Some people would peel off the stickers and rearrange them to solve the cube.
I used a flathead screwdriver to pry out the moving cube pieces and arrange them correctly.
But having all six sides solved was boring.
I twisted them up to make X patterns on each face.
That was more interesting looking.
Then I peeled off the stickers so every side was black.
Every turn was the right one.
Then I threw the dumb thing out.
Like so many people did.