George the useful idiot

George was a pirate, but he wasn’t a very good pirate.
He heard stories of Blackbeard, who put candles and cannon fuses in his beard, giving off a thick black cloud that made him look like a demonic figure.
So, before the next battle, George covered himself with candles and cannon fuses, and lit them.
George was quickly engulfed in flames, and he ran around screaming.
The men on the other ship thought George was a demonic figure and quickly surrendered.
George’s shipmates knocked him overboard, dowsing the painful flames.
“He’s an idiot,” said the captain. “But a useful idiot.”

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