- Lewie
- Lisa
- Lizzie
- Richard
- Tom
- Serendipidy
- Norval Joe
- Planet Z
The next topic is PICK TWO
Cover band
Slow down
Empty streets
Sculpture gallery
Shred
LISA
A stressful Job
John was stressed at work. He’d tried meditating, herbal tea and cutting his hours. He left the office altogether wondering if the commute was a factor and worked from home. All to no avail. His blood pressure was sky high and his family were worried so they ordered some executive, very expensive and delicate stress relief toys. The parcel arrived and they left it for him. The next day he was the least stressed they’d ever seen him. The toys unplayed with. He leant back, under the desk he popped the air from the bubble-wrap.
“Thank you!” he smiled.
LIZZIE
The bubble wrap, he said, we must make sure this book is well protected before we ship it off. Everyone hurried around, mostly just trying to look busy. Where’s the bubble wrap? Finally, someone said that they had none left. Go buy some more?! They all ran out of the room. He waited, and waited. The book mumbled. He was startled. The book mumbled some more. What? I can protect myself, it said. He was stunned. How?! That’s when everyone came rushing back. Bubble wrap! The book sort of sneezed and tragically everyone collapsed. The book clearly didn’t like plastic.
RICHARD
Pop!
Pop… pop… pop’
She’d been at it for over five minutes now. Enough was enough!
“Will you please stop doing that!”
She looked at me with ‘that’ look on her face.
“But it’s relaxing” she said, in a whiny tone of voice.
“Do I look relaxed?” I asked.
“You look pissed” she said. “You know what? You’re always picking on me, you’re so intolerant!”
She threw the bubble wrap at me in frustration and stormed out of the room.
Perfect, I thought, sitting back comfortably in my chair and sighing in relief.
Bubble wrap: Gotta love it!
Pop… pop… pop’
LEWIE
Title: Bubble Rap
I went to the store just to kill this bore.
Looked on the shelf – yea, I spotted an elf.
Glanced to the left, saw no theft.
Turned to the right – got a fright.
Peering closer,
saw a jokester.
Bubbles three,
and nothing more.
Pop-poppety-POP!
He gave a retort,
“Life can be short.”
Blew through his cane –
three just the same.
One bubble big.
Two doubled small.
“Thrrrrreeeeee in aaaaalllllll!”
he called with a drawl.
I name this Fred,
with no hope left.
I name this Holly,
still quite jolly and light.
I name this…
POP!
That poor bubble –
he’s dead!
SERENDIPIDY
I stared at the contents of the box in dismay.
Bubble wrap. A great big, huge roll of bubble wrap.
Someone at the warehouse had screwed up big time.
Unless, I’d made a mistake. I called up my online order, no -there it was, clear as day: Bulk pack of duct tape, and they’ve only gone and sent me bubble wrap instead.
What use is that to me?
Am I supposed to bubble wrap you to a chair? Gag you with bubble wrap? How the hell am I going to restrain you without duct tape?
Maybe, I could suffocate you?
TOM
The line between
Rudy worked out the hard math. It took 400 sqft of bubble warp to created the cubes. Well it was actually a hyper-cube with lemniscate nano-tubes. It took months to built and a couple of weeks to get it to the site. Transport speed had to be below 12 mph. Rude was lower in to center and whole thing was spun to remove any gaps. His mom threw him a kiss and the crew dumped him in the water. He went over the falls and disappeared in the foam. When the retrieval crew got to the bubble warp Rudy was smiling.
NORVAL JOE
“A NASCAR race? Right, Lindy-Mindy,” Sabrina sneered.
Billbert held up a finger. “Sabrina. She’s right. The clues match and the Sonoma raceway is only 250 miles away. There’s a race next month, after school’s out.”
“Okay,” Sabrina said. “That gives us a month to find the third person mentioned in the directions. Let’s invite Bobbi to go.”
“What about me? “Mandi interjected. “I used magic to trap you in the mirror.”
“That’s true, Sabrina. Mandi used magic,” Billbert said. “And speaking of the mirror, why did you put all your stuff in it?”
Sabrina shrugged. “It’s safer than bubble wrap.”
PLANET Z
Soon after arriving and saying hello, the Voldani offered a solution to global warming.
Move Earth a bit further from the sun.
Sure, they could do it.
They’d done it before with a few other planets.
There was just a bit of breakage, nothing major.
Maybe some seismic activity.
So, we agreed.
The subcontractors dropped out of hyperspace and wrapped the entire planet in bubble wrap.
By the time the Earth was in position, every living creature had suffocated.
“Bummer,” said the Voldani.
They spent the next five years in Galactic Court fighting with the subcontractor over liability and payments.